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Whatever you do, do not take ACTION THIS WEEKEND (Enlist, Young Republican Leaders, Enlist!)

Jesus’ General has posted a call to um, come on over to the Crystal Gateway Mariott in Arlington, Virginia this Friday, June 24 through Sunday, June 26, where the College Republican National Convention will be held. Friday’s the really big day, with the following speakers between 9:00 am and 1:30 pm:

House Majority Leader Tom DeLay
Secretary Mike Johanns
Governor Mitt Romney
Phyllis Schlafly
David Horowitz
Rep. Patrick McHenry
Rev. Jesse Lee Peterson
Morton Blackwell
Tony Perkins
Grover Norquist
Ed Gillespie
Rep. Mike Pence

The registration table is open at 8:00 am for those appearing to be young collegiate Republican types:

I imagine the registration table is inside the hotel. I note that there are still open rooms for the nights of the 23rd through the 26th of this month at the Marriott, which is located right here:

Gen. JC Christian of Jesus’ General suggests that Umerica-loving patriots approach the rosy-cheeked peers of privilege attending the College Republican National Convention and ask them whether they, as big-time war boosters, plan to enlist.

Somebody told me that would be offensive. Oh, I whole-heartedly agree. We can’t have questions being asked, especially of the convention-attending children of privilege. Especially in front of the cameras. That would be wrong.

So whatever you do, don’t go to Arlington, Virginia on Friday and ask any conference attendees uncomfortable questions. Don’t offend their sensibilities. That would be wholly inappropriate. Oh, yes indeedy. Yes, sir.

13 thoughts on “Whatever you do, do not take ACTION THIS WEEKEND (Enlist, Young Republican Leaders, Enlist!)”

  1. mike says:

    If I were anywhere near there (like within 500 miles),I would be doing just that in a hot New York minute…Sounds like the kind of political action that needs to take place…but, no…of course you’re right,J.Matthew… it would be rude… and politically incorrect… and would draw undue attention to their misfortune of being born to wealth and privilege…but, God it sounds like exactly the kind of Guerilla Theater that would be SO MUCH FUN!!! But, no…you’re right, of course…we cannot stoop so low…can we? PLEEEEEEZE?????

  2. Steve says:

    Why do I get the feeling that you’re licking your lips like a wolf watching a pack of blind-and-deaf sheep approaching?

  3. Sarge says:

    A little over a hundred years ago Kipling had a neat way of discribing folks like them…”When you’ve shouted ‘Rule Britania’!(insert gawd bless america) and sung ‘god sawe the queen’ (insert, again, ‘gawd bless america’) and you’ve finished killing Kruger (insert suitable mid-eastern bete-noir’s name) with your mouth…” sure sounds like the bunch we have here and now.

  4. Hoosier Texan says:

    Hmnnn, most of the my college classmates back inthe late 80’s and early 90’s were activist democrats. My roommate’s dad was a VP of a big bank in town, and he was very liberal…myself included at the time.

    So what you are trying to do is characterize college republicans as all rich? I would say that is a false characterzation. You need to try using another color on your paint brush.

  5. Patricia says:

    Logic lesson for Hoosier Texan:
    (Did you take logic in college, Hoosier?)

    Trees are green
    Dragons are green

    Does that mean that trees are not, in fact, green?

    Think now…

  6. J. Matthew says:

    Goodness, no, Mr. Texan, sir, I didn’t mean to characterize, and I don’t believe I did, the “college republicans as all rich.” That would be offensive (you said it, not me, Mr. Texan, sir, cleanse your mind of such offense!), although much closer to truth than the statement “Members of the College Republicans are all poor.”

    No, Mr. Texan, sir. I put this picture up:


    because when College Republicans get together they have Black Tie Galas (see the program, Mr. Texan Sir), and take photos of themselves looking like this:


    Yes, sir, Mr. Texan, sir.

  7. Laura says:

    Oh, if only Republicans were purposely as funny as Monty Python…That is Terry Jones, right? What a hilarious Republican dork image. (my kids asked, “What’s so funny?”)

    Nudge, nudge, wink, wink, know whatI mean…

    If I were not busy with children, and in Illinois I would go to this and do this. It’s a great idea. Hopefully, someone will ask some “anti-american” questions.

  8. John Stracke says:

    So what you are trying to do is characterize college republicans as all rich?

    No, just the ones who stay in $119 hotel rooms. And, yeah, he didn’t tar them specifcally as rich; he called them twits–the Monty Python picture he used was from the Upperclass Twit of the Year sketch.

  9. Sarge says:

    Hoosier, I don’t class republicans (or at least many who vote that way) as rich. But if you’re holding affairs at Crystal City, the people who are attending probably don’t come from my section of town. As I said, I play for many political events, and these youngfolks do give a very laudable performance as neo fascists.

  10. Sarge says:

    And, again, Hoosier, folks like that don’t like you much more than they like us “liberals”. Right now you’re a necessary evil. They think you’d make a good peon.

  11. Zero Haven says:

    Hey, yeah! I remember that place from when I was dating some guy who worked for Pat Buchanan’s campaign. It’s stunning. The central court goes up maybe 20 floors.
    At the time I didn’t give a squat about politics, but I believe he took me to something like a campaign trail pep rally. Those people were frightening! (and damn do they drink!!!) Yep, that picture JMatt dropped comes close – but I’m not seeing the Rolex and alligator skin shoes they “just picked up in Italy last month”.

    Shame on you! Bringing back bad memories like that.

  12. J. Matthew says:


    So… what is it like to date a guy who works in Pat Buchanan’s campaign?

    I am really curious… you can’t just drop intriguing lines like that, can you?

    Do tell!

  13. Zero Haven says:

    In a nutshell: We went out to bars a lot. He liked to be seen, and drank heavily.
    The ‘group from the office’ – have you ever met cleared scientologists or perky mormon missionaries? After a few dates I realized I was an arm trinket, and refrained from expressing radical ideas.
    Even after many drinks in a smoky-yet-tasteful bar, these people would profess their love of ‘the cause’ and manage to glow with enthusiasm about how their work would help make the country a better place. Under 30, guys and gals always impeccably dressed, as if denim was a sin. It was un-natural!

    Kinda like Stepford, only different. Eventually the guy had to go touring with Pat and I was relieved.

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