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Why, the Fairies Will Pay For It All! And their friends, the gnomes.

I read in the news today that

President Bush ruled out tax increases to pay for hurricane and flood recovery today, saying instead that federal spending would have to be cut to help the Gulf Coast recover.

They’re saying that the rebuilding effort will cost more than $200 billion. Where are we going to cut $200 billion from the budget to make the difference? Axe health care spending? Break our promises to America’s veterans? Screw the schools? Ditch medical research? We’ll have to do much more than any one of those things in order to find $200 billion. So which will it be?

We could raise taxes. You know, people pitching in to the collective effort to recover from this disaster and all. But Bush says no. In a speech standing next to Mr. Democracy, Vlad Putin, George W. Bush said:

We should not raise taxes. Working people have had to pay a tax, in essence, by higher gasoline prices. And we don’t need to be taking more money out of their pocket.

Well, then, we could tax the people who have been reaping an ever-better share of America’s income since Bush came in to office. You know, the rich-what-have-been-getting-richer and all.

But, pshaw! What am I talking about? That won’t happen; this is George W. Bush we’re talking about. Where, then, shall this $200 billion or more come from?

Well, we could borrow it from the Chinese, like we’ve been doing like gangbusters under Bush. That way, after interest, we’d have to pay back much more than $200 billion, meaning we’ll have to raise taxes. But “we” doesn’t mean us. The first “we” means our kids, not us, making this palatable to those of us currently able to vote. The second “we” means “some-sorry-ass-president-after-Bush,” making this palatable to Bush himself.

So, right, then. We’ll borrow the money, with interest, for our kids to pay back — instead of raising taxes now! Is that the plan?

No. I just can’t believe that George W. Bush would stoop so low. Why, I’ve been told that he has “moral values,” you see, and a man of “moral values” would clearly avoid this path of fiscal and civic irresponsibility.

That leaves us the fairies. Yes, the fairies will bail us out with their majick money. And the leprechauns. And the gnomes. I hear the gnomes have got a good stash somewhere, and gnomes are always helpful in a pinch.

6 comments to Why, the Fairies Will Pay For It All! And their friends, the gnomes.

  • HareTrinity

    Doesn’t America still have the lowest petrol prices in the world?

    Isn’t it about time people realised that these prices are not going to go down any time soon?

  • Mike

    The thing you must understand, HareTrinity, and all our other overseas posters, are the HUGE distances one must travel by automobile over here on a daily basis, as opposed to the way it is in Europe. Yes the fuel prices have always been much higher there than here; but, as a result, the mass-transit infrastructure here has evolved vastly differently as a consequence. Case in point: my neighbor lives here in a small town in Yuba City, a small town in Northern California yet commutes daily to Sacramento, the state capital some 50 miles away (one way). He does this with an auto that gets maybe twenty miles per gallon, there being no effective mass transit available…what little transit there is, is a joke. He doesn’t live in Sacramento because the cost of housing there is frightful, about double what it is here.
    Another friend must commute to the San Francisco Bay area, some 150 miles away, for him. This was difficult enough for them with gasoline hitting $2/Gallon,it’s nearly impossible now. And, when one couples this with Bush’s buddies in the oil racket making huge windfall profits, and their taxes being REDUCED…well, maybe you can see our frustration and contempt for what has been said and done by the federal government on this front. This isn’t being done because of any shortage. It is purely greed-oriented…something the Republinazis understand all too well.

  • Sarge

    Hare Trinity, we really don’t have too much of a public transportation infrastructure anymore, at least where I live in Pennsylvania. At one time, there was industry right in town, you didn’t live all that far away, and public transportation was geared to support it. These industries (with well paying career type jobs: in this town, Altoona, it was railroads, next big town, Johnstown {yep, the flood place} it was steel) flew away, and this also affected the smaller towns around that did mining, machining, and things which supported the bigger industries. My wife, when she’s home, works for a retail store, and she works with people who, to make ends meet even in this low-rent area, have to have two to five jobs to make ends meet. Some drive as much as five hundred miles a week just for the work. Now, I admit that “poor” here isn’t like being “poor” in Africa, India, of even South America, but no one minds seeing you starve if you’re unlucky. Mobility is the only thing which keeps some of these folks with any standard of living at all.

    What makes a lot of folks aroiund here rather hard to deal with is the fact that many were on the ladder to success, or had done all that the zeitgeist of america told them to do. They did all the right things, invested, worked their fingers to the bone, and sure enough, they got bony fingers. No health care, pension, and being taxed for their corner to die in. Poverty is kind of expensive here in the USA. I think in West Side Story there is a passage, “Everything’s free in America (for a small fee in America)”

  • HareTrinity

    Ah, right; spaced out cities and towns. Forgot about that part…

    Wouldn’t trains help with that?

    Who do you have to talk to in order to get new tracks laid down, anyway? The public must get some say in it, especially at times like this…

    Otherwise it sounds like American cities are going to have to move to group up close to each other… That would be very odd…

  • Sarge

    You’re quite right, Miss Hare, trains, buses, that sort of thing used to exist, and back in the late 70′s to ’80s they dried up. The town I live in was once the railroad capitol of the world, in fact, that was the only reason the place existed. There’s some talk about the maglev system, but that’s been over twenty years, and the business men involved want the state/local gov’ts to take the land from others for them, give them some type of tax exempt status, and generally let them milk the thing while others pay for it. My oldest son used to come in from California by train, but it was actually cheaper to fly and he didn’t have a three to four day trip. He was in the navy, a Seabee, and when I asked why he didn’t fly he told me, “Dad, I always wind up in some hell hole every time I fly.” I gestured about me and said, “Your point, and the difference is…?” He said, “Oh, I see what you mean.”

    What you are proposing as per mass/public transportation is logical and in the end will probably reemerge, but there are also established interests fighting against it. This is nothing new, most people have never heard of Gurney and Dance. In the early 19th century there was a steam coach line which ran from London to Bath and Wells. One hears, said in dismissive tones, of Cugnot’s machine, but in the 1820′s these ran quite successfully and even profitably. Not railroads, but actual coaches powered by steam. The carters and barge owners got to Parliament and got them to jack the tolls on the roads over forty percent on these steam coaches, and they were run out of business. We see the same sort of thing here any time someone tries to get something going.

  • HareTrinity

    Talk about politics at its worse… This really is like Marx’s view. He suggested revolution, y’know…

    It’s getting close, at this rate. Like the government’s really asking for it… High-up corruption mucks up any political system, communism or capitalism.

    How long before somewhere tries to get foreign help? The new Virgin train system’s doing rather well over here, and a lot of countries would be glad to help with public transport, I expect (cutting down on pollution and being nice at the same time; a fair amount of politicians would go for that).

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