Why, the Fairies Will Pay For It All! And their friends, the gnomes.
I read in the news today that
President Bush ruled out tax increases to pay for hurricane and flood recovery today, saying instead that federal spending would have to be cut to help the Gulf Coast recover.
They’re saying that the rebuilding effort will cost more than $200 billion. Where are we going to cut $200 billion from the budget to make the difference? Axe health care spending? Break our promises to America’s veterans? Screw the schools? Ditch medical research? We’ll have to do much more than any one of those things in order to find $200 billion. So which will it be?
We could raise taxes. You know, people pitching in to the collective effort to recover from this disaster and all. But Bush says no. In a speech standing next to Mr. Democracy, Vlad Putin, George W. Bush said:
We should not raise taxes. Working people have had to pay a tax, in essence, by higher gasoline prices. And we don’t need to be taking more money out of their pocket.
Well, then, we could tax the people who have been reaping an ever-better share of America’s income since Bush came in to office. You know, the rich-what-have-been-getting-richer and all.
But, pshaw! What am I talking about? That won’t happen; this is George W. Bush we’re talking about. Where, then, shall this $200 billion or more come from?
Well, we could borrow it from the Chinese, like we’ve been doing like gangbusters under Bush. That way, after interest, we’d have to pay back much more than $200 billion, meaning we’ll have to raise taxes. But “we” doesn’t mean us. The first “we” means our kids, not us, making this palatable to those of us currently able to vote. The second “we” means “some-sorry-ass-president-after-Bush,” making this palatable to Bush himself.
So, right, then. We’ll borrow the money, with interest, for our kids to pay back — instead of raising taxes now! Is that the plan?
No. I just can’t believe that George W. Bush would stoop so low. Why, I’ve been told that he has “moral values,” you see, and a man of “moral values” would clearly avoid this path of fiscal and civic irresponsibility.
That leaves us the fairies. Yes, the fairies will bail us out with their majick money. And the leprechauns. And the gnomes. I hear the gnomes have got a good stash somewhere, and gnomes are always helpful in a pinch.