Christian News: Dover Disaster Watch
|Cue tympanies! Bring in the haunting cello strings… aaaaand finish with the snare drum roll.
Right, now…cut to our anchor!
This is Hugh Smiley with the Fundamentalist Broadcasting Network. We bring to you breaking news from our Minister of Information, Marion “Pat” Robertson, in reaction to events in Dover, Pennsylvania. After residents of the seemingly bucolic, normal, straight town of Dover voted overwhelmingly to replace advocates of creationism on the school board with a slate of candidates opposed to the teaching of creationism as science, Pat Robertson gave God a phone call and had this to report on their conversation:
Well, you’ve heard it from God’s spokesman. Now it befalls us to wait and wonder: what fate lies in store the previously fair city of Dover? How will God wreak his mighty revenge?
Will it be flutes up the bottom?
A plague of carnivorous sparrows?
Or…really bad weather?
A quick check of our DeaconDopplerRadar shows sunshine, mild winds, and moderate temperatures for the season in southeastern Pennsylvania. Is this God’s way of saying he likes Charles Darwin after all? Or is this just the calm before The Deluge? The Almighty is mighty sneaky that way.
Stay tuned, fair Christian fundies one and all. Dover Watch continues!