This evening, we received a piece of rather inscrutable love mail from an individual self-named “aristocrat”:
Hah,im a christian,and i love god. And JESUS DOES LOVE US YOU STUPID ATHESIST.
So whats so wrong with saying something thats true? Love and happiness are nothing like spongebob. Lay on a couch,with your head craned upside down watching spongebob, and what do you see?
Well, gee, “aristocrat,” I can’t say I really know. So let’s humor you and give it a try:
What, an antenna-head? Really broad shoulders? A fat butt? Um, oh, wait. Oh, dearie. I see it. Yes, I can see how someone with a relatively small phallus-to-ball-size ratio would find that to be representative of something or other. Or rather, one something and two others. You know, a ding dong and two ho-hos!
Say, you’ve given me an idea, “aristocrat.” Let’s try it with another prominent TV presence:
Man, he’s got a stiffie! Clearly, these images of our “president” sent out by the White House must be removed from the airwaves. He hides it very well, but it’s clear that George W. Bush has been secretly promoting the homosexual agenda to those fine red-blooded Americans like “aristocrat” who watch their TV with their head hanging off the couch.
But really now, I should be fair. The insidious Bush upside-down phallus message our president has been sending us can’t be that dangerous. Even with that stiffie, and even compared to SpongeBob, George’s member is pretty puny. You know, that would explain a whole lot of the past five years.