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Irregular Caption: What Is Schumer Doing With His Hand?

charles schumer hand gesturePoor Charles Schumer. He can’t seem to make anyone help him. As a Democrat, he is reflexively repulsive to Republicans. From the Democrats, he doesn’t seem to get much respect either – especially not with his opposition to the censure of George W. Bush and his recent vote in favor of giving President Bush an extension of special powers to spy against the American people.

So, maybe Senator Schumer is beginning to crack under the pressure of rejection from both sides of the aisle. Schumer was recently photographed making strange hand signals, as if to give expression to some kind of profound inner anxiety.

We at Irregular Times were interested in this photograph of Chuck Schumer, but unfortunately, we seem to have misplaced its caption. Can you help us out?

What we need you to do is to provide a possible caption for this photograph of Senator Charles Schumer. We’ll take a look at the captions you write, and see which ones ring a bell. Here’s are a few examples, to get you started:

  • “Sir, I would not be sitting here testifying in front of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee if I did not believe that there is a serious need to open up a new embassy in Ireland to improve our contacts with the Leprechauns. I’ve talked with several of them myself, about so high, and they say that their people are feeling overlooked by the Bush Administration. The last thing we want is a bunch of short, green, terrorists coming to the United States hidden in cargo containers.”
  • “There was this dance I remember from back in the Fifties, I can’t remember what it was called, the Fish, or Scubadoo, or something like that, but you took your hands and wiggled them back and forth down your body like this.”
  • “In ancient Mongolia, before Genghis Khan came along, they chose their rulers through a special feather blowing ceremony. You would place one feather of goose down on the back of your hand, see, and then gently blow through your lips, and the person who got the goose down to go the farthest would be Khan.”

    No, no, these aren’t the right captions. Can you give it a try?

  • 4 thoughts on “Irregular Caption: What Is Schumer Doing With His Hand?”

    1. Kevin says:

      “‘Feingold’ has two syllables. How do I know? Simply put your hand under your chin…”

      “Ugh, I wish I’d paid more attention in music class! Is this ‘so’ or ‘mi’? I can never remember!”

      “DJ Feingold in the hizzouse, spinnin’ da beats dat gets da ladies on deir feets!”

    2. Scott S says:

      “As long as I can’t see the microphones, they can’t record the crap that comes out of my mouth!”

    3. Damen says:


    4. Jim says:

      “No, you see, slope is RISE over RUN, not RUN over RISE. Look, if y=mx+b and m is equal to, let’s say, 0.32, then…”

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