There is a stretch in the middle of the week when coffee loses its effectiveness and the bags underneath the eyes of even a twenty-seven year old new husband are still there in the morning.
It is during such times that it is most necessary to let go, for just ten minutes, of one’s grip around what seems most important and most desperate. It is the time to consider this question: Who out there believes that they might have a microchip in their brains?
I asked Google this very question just a few minutes ago, and here’s what I found out:
Blogger Homesick Home left one a former employer after finding out that the employer had the audacity to put a microchip in the blogger’s brain that allowed coworkers to read the thoughts of the blogger like a wikipedia entry on the soul.
The Broccoli Warlord met an alien named Bob who stuck a microchip in his brain before sharing some tea.
Over at MSN Spaces, a young fellow going under the tag ifmattcalls is hung up on having been known as a cute boy back in in high school, yet frets about whether the progression from Walkman to iPod will soon result in having a microchip implanted in his brain so that he can hear music wherever he goes, without need of ear buds.
Baby Face 900 over at the clunky pay to blog scam at LiveJournal worries about having a microchip in the brain, but requires a person to be logged in to find out why.
A blogspot blog designed with big-eyed anime girls eating dumplings also discusses the possibility of having a microchip in the brain, but, just as is the case with Baby Face 900, requires a login for the privilege of finding out about it. The difference with this one? They want you to pay money for their microchip on the brain news.
Shikimic at LiveJournal wants a microchip in her brain that automatically takes a picture through her eyes whenever she is happy. So much for the old, low tech memory systems.
The Intraloper, who says that “missing even a second of Lost is like losing one of your children,” was trying to summarize a week of television viewing, but claims that a Secret Service brain microchip implantation experience interfered with Saturday’s TV session.
Finally, Psychedelic Kimchi suspects that the people at Samsung are part of the Illuminati and are engaged in a secret plot to implant microchips in people’s brains so that their thoughts can be uncovered and their behavior can be controlled.
The trouble with conspiracy theories these days is that they’re all ironic.