Ron Bunyan: The New Buddha?
So my neighbor Ron Bunyan sat down underneath a poplar tree last Saturday after mowing the lawn. I noticed him first as he seemed to just relax and sip on a lemonade. But after a few hours, he put the lemonade down, crossed his legs and folded his arms, and … just stayed there. His wife Blue asked me to go fetch him inside for dinner, but he wouldn’t budge. For the longest time, he wouldn’t even look at me. And then, sighing deeply, he turned to me and spoke:
“Not now, Jim. I’m seeking enlightenment. I’ll be meditating now for a time…”
…and with that, Ron turned his gaze back to the horizon. Since then, Ron hasn’t had a drop to eat or drink, he hasn’t gone to the bathroom. He’s just been meditating 24 hours a day since Saturday. Blue told me he was just sulking, but then he started to develop this sheen, a simplified look you might say, a … glow of sorts. And he started to shrink. By Monday he was down to four feet, By this morning he had slimmed down to a mere 3 inches, at which point the shrinking stopped. But still he did not move an inch. He just kept meditating, this serene look upon his face. Still nothing to eat or drink, and still he did not move.
Well, to keep him more comfortable and to avoid the onslaught of passersby, onlookers, well-wishers and starlings, we’ve moved him to a spot underneath my office lamp. I think the wood is made of poplar, maybe. At any rate, through the whole ordeal since this past Saturday ol’ Ron Bunyan has just sat there, unmoving, in serene meditation.
I hear that the Buddha started out this way, without the plasticene glow and shrinking to a three-inch height I mean, but you know that makes it all even more extraordinary in a way. How can science explain this? This is beyond science, beyond our modern society’s “logical” explanations. They just can’t explain how Ron Bunyan has managed this feat.
I’m not saying, I’m just asking questions, but it all leads me to wonder:
Is Ron Bunyan destined to be the New Buddha?
I’ll keep you posted.