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Amazing Spiritual Development: Ron Bunyan Continues Meditating With Head Off

A breaking development in the Ron Bunyan meditation case today!

Ron Bunyan Meditates Head Falls Off and He Keeps MeditatingFor those of you who are not familiar with the case of Ron Bunyan, here’s a summary. Ten days ago, my neighbor Ron Bunyan sat down underneath a poplar tree in his front yard, and shortly thereafter announced to me that he was going to begin to meditate. Miraculously, he shrunk to a height of three inches and took on a plasticene glow. To keep him more comfortable and avoid unnecessary publicity, we’ve moved him to a spot underneath my office lamp and written extensively about it on this website. Through the whole ordeal ol’ Ron Bunyan has just sat there, unmoving, without drink or food, in serene meditation. Some people say he’s the new Buddha. Some say he’s going to be one day. I didn’t say it, but some people do.

Already, Ron Bunyan has passed beyond the limits of provincial medical knowledge. The eggheads say you can’t go this long without food, water, or moving and keep on meditating, much less stay alive! They just can’t explain how Ron Bunyan has managed this feat. That Ron Bunyan has come this far proves that he is special, that his accomplishments lie beyond science, that his spiritual journey stretches beyond our modern society’s “logical” explanations.

Well, this morning something special happened. I came in to my office to check on things when, lo and behold, I noticed that Ron’s head had fallen off! This was astounding! At first I was worried, but then I noticed that he still maintained a correct pose for meditation. Looking closer, I couldn’t see any sign of blood or a struggle. And still, to this hour, he is maintaining his meditation without food, without water, without moving, and now without his head on his shoulders!

As Ron Bunyan continues on his path to enlightenment, he continues to inspire our faith and amazement. We are all indebted to him. Thank you, Ron Bunyan! Thank you!!

6 comments to Amazing Spiritual Development: Ron Bunyan Continues Meditating With Head Off

  • Alan

    This is either a Divine Miracle or a covert visit from the Swords of Islam. If we are willing to accept the miraculous nature of this event, at least for the moment, can we cut to the chase and get to the ideology and doctrine part?

    My theory is this: One of my old neighbors joined AA, but thought it was too hard because six out of the twelve steps are spiritual. Even though he had religious training, he and the other AA members were having a hard time trying to get in touch with their Higher Power. Since Bunyan is sitting under an Atheist desklamp, I think he is going to solve the addiction question once and for all by coming come up with a definative Six-Step Program.

  • Julian

    Why aren’t all of the Buddhist believers here offering thanks to Ron Bunyan?

  • Scott

    If I believe sincerely enough, could I continue to meditate in the whilst lacking in the head region?

  • Mackers

    Cheap Shot,Nonesence

  • Jim

    Mackers, you’re just a hater and bigot. Why do you hate Ron Bunyan? Why can’t you open your heart to the reality of what is before you?

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