Earlier today, F.G. Fitzer wrote a silly piece in which he said Christian conservative Pat Robertson had got it all wrong when he said, “If I heard the Lord right about 2006, the coasts of America will be lashed by storms.” Fitzer had a little talk with God himself, and God told Fitzer that Robertson misheard: apparently, it’s really that American coats will be licked by storks. Scott then corrected both Fitzer and Robertson; according to him, God says stores are going to start stashing coal. Oh, what mystery of theoaudiology!
One cute part of all this is that, starting at about dinner time tonight, a small set of people writing from four computers but using a variety of names, have been using that piece to stage a discussion with themselves, with people writing from the same computers alternately taking vehement stands for and against Pat Robertson’s claim that he can hear the voice of God talking to him. Keep it up, kiddies! No, don’t! Yes, do! You’re so wrong! No, you are, asshole! Don’t talk about your mother that way! Why, I oughta slap you one!
Cutest of all is the comment by one “Elizabeth Blackwell,” who writes in:
YOU ARE ON DANGEROUS GROUNDS. GOD WILL NOT BE MOCKED!
How sweet. But the thing is, God will be mocked. God must be mocked a million times a day on this planet. Happens all the time. Look:
God is a worm-ridden rutabaga!
See? That makes a million and one mockeries of God just today. If that makes you mad, just wait until tomorrow.