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How do you identify a wild-eyed deer before it’s too late?

Yesterday, the Associated Press offered a strange little article about a supposed wildlife crisis on the campaign of Southern Illinois University in Carbondale. It seems that last year, around this time, in a wooded part of campus, a few people were attacked by female deer who were protecting their fawns. The article, attempting to sound dramatic, described one woman knocked down and kicked by a deer who received a cut, a few bruises, and a hoofprint on her hand.

Does a hoofprint count as a wound, or is it just a smudge? Does it require medical treatment?

The Associated Press reported that university officials are “urging” students to “keep their eyes peeled for deer” and to run away “if a wild-eyed deer starts bounding their way”.

After I read this, I closed my eyes and visualized a campus full of students keeping their eyes peeled for deer.

I wonder how well the university administration’s advice would work. How, for example, can students identify that any particular deer’s eyes are wild while it is still far away for them to escape the deer “bounding” toward them? Also, if I were a student, I’d like some more clear guidance on if it’s okay not to run away from a wild-eyed deer so long as it refrains from bounding.

This is a serious matter. How can we hope to keep the Homeland secure from terrorist deer if we don’t know what to watch for. Eternal vigilance in forest and field is the only solution!

One thought on “How do you identify a wild-eyed deer before it’s too late?”

  1. Mike says:

    How’s this for a solution to a problem that really doesn’t exist: If you aren’t ready to deal with those creatures that are native to the area that you want to move into, don’t move there! No hassle for you OR the deer…who, incidently, lived there first. I hear about this every year, especially here in Northern California, where we have people moving into land that is native to mountain lions..then scream bloody murder about the danger to their kids and pets. Take the time to do a bit of research before you choose to move into these recently rural areas, and find out about the local fauna BEFORE you put up umpty-hundred thousand bucks for your “dream home in the High Sierras”, and spare yourself what could turn into a fatal encounter.

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