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Dismember and Eat a Sheep, But Don’t Hoo-Hoo It

Now, I need to say right from the top that I am not a person who hoo-hoos sheep. But a question of moral values related to that just popped into my head:

Why is it perfectly OK in our society to dismember and eat a sheep,


It is a big time sin, punishable crime, and gigantic taboo to do the hoo-hoo with a sheep?

I’m just asking. Hey, Rick Santorum is right: I probably would never have asked the question if Carl Davis and Ed Macomb of Newton, Massachusetts hadn’t gotten married last November. I’ve never met you, but shame on you, Carl and Ed! Your long-distance gay-marriage rays have perverted my mind. Oh, the indignity of it all. But not as indignatious as hoo-hoo with a sheep.

4 comments to Dismember and Eat a Sheep, But Don’t Hoo-Hoo It

  • Ewes’ vaginas are apparently identical to human vaginas. Why would God design them that way if they weren’t to be used by lonely young shepherds. Conversely, if they’ve evolved that way, a lot of lonely shepherd boys since the last ice age have not been as lonely as we thought. So woo woo with the hoo hoo!

  • Alan

    Scotland: Where the men are men and the sheep are scared.

  • HareTrinity

    That’s Wales, Alan…

    And because most people start off doing negative things (e.g. abuse, mutilation, killing and rape) to animals before humans, it’s obviously better to catch them at THAT stage before they move onto abusing their fellow humans.

    However, that said, animals CAN consent, some animals (such as mares and dolphins) can even get rather pushy about it if they decide a human’d be good to get off with.

    Animal consent is a tad more difficult to record than human consent, though, so that’s probably why it’s blanket banned.

    Interesting Tip Bit: Ignore all the right-wing comparisons of homosexuality to zoophilia, a fair amount of the bestiality sites are right-wing (anti-“naughty words” to describe sexual acts or video clips of it, pro-hunting, anti-discussion, etc).

  • Iroquois Honky

    and another thing…

    What’s this “hoo-hoo” stuff? Are we running out of words for copulation?

    What happened to the F-word? I hear these 14-year-old kids on the street using the F-word and try to picture them, you know, actually doing it, and the thought is pretty disgusting. It’s clear from the way they use the word that they aren’t talking about copulating and probably don’t even know what that is. As far as I can tell, the F-word is now either a vocalized pause, like “um” or it means something like “bad”, as in “my fucking car doesn’t have a fucking city sticker”, or maybe it is just used to express generic annoyance. So now because of that do we need a new copulating word that actually DOES mean copulating?

    And the F-word is always used to describe something negative. If you say “Oh, shit” you call up the image of a smelly brown turd to compare with your situation. But if you say “Oh, fuck,” what does that compare to? Maybe people are really angry about sex these days. When did sex become Not A Good Thing?

    I’m so confused.

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