Enter your email address to subscribe to Irregular Times and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 733 other subscribers

Irregular Times Newsletters

Click here to subscribe to any or all of our six topical e-mail newsletters:
  1. Social Movement Actions,
  2. Credulity and Faith,
  3. Election News,
  4. This Week in Congress,
  5. Tech Dispatch and
  6. our latest Political Stickers and Such

Contact Us

We can be contacted via retorts@irregulartimes.com

An Irregular Murder Mystery?

Late last night, a person using the name Sgt. Cambell left the following message at one of our recent article about the huge military drain resulting from right wing anti-gay hatred:

“The whole “dont ask, dont tell” is actually good for these reasons;
1) Tradition, The millitary is know for being real men, not queers.
2) Asking/Telling is unnecesay, it only takes concentration away from the things that matter, like operating a 50 million dollar plane.
3) Queers are only liked by other queers, metros, or coloset curious’s.
4)Quit bitching.
5)Im sick of hearing people bitch. Its not discriminating agaisnt them, its just saying dont ask, and dont tell. So in a way, its actually protecting them. Back when I was in basic, there were 3 queers. They all asked and told. So every other night, we would blanket party them. Meaning beat the living shit out of them until they passed out from pain. If they would only shut the hell up about cock. Later on, while in iraq, my best friend was asked to give another soldier head. Lets just say that man went home from “friendly fire” while on a street sweep. He is currently 6 feet under the dirt in arlington. My friend talks about it like its a funny thing. So now do you see how it is actually good.
7)not sure if i said it yet, quit bitchiing”

One of our readers, Ralph, pointed out that, if what this person wrote is true, then he’s guilty of assault and murder – or, at least, guilty of helping to cover up a murder. But, is it true? Is this person really a sergeant in the U.S. military who was involed in the murder of a fellow soldier in the battlefield just for being gay?

Maybe. Maybe not. What this person doesn’t know is that we who edit Irregular Times can see some details about where people who comment are coming from – their IP address, for example. The IP address Sgt. Cambell used last night was Using an IP WHOIS search, I found the following information about this IP address:

SBC Internet Services SBCIS-SIS80 (NET-69-208-0-0-1) –
PPPoX Pool – rback6.dytnoh SBCIS-062105125333 (NET-69-223-48-0-1) –

Well, that doesn’t tell us much, other than that this guy (or girl) is a customer of SBC, or was using the computer of someone who was. Of course, if a criminal investigation were launched, SBC would probably be able to reveal much more information than that.

However, there is reason to believe that this person is not a murderer. One reason? He’s a proven liar. Also last night, at an article about allegations by Seymour Hersh that the US government and the Israeli government planned bombing of Lebanon before any actual provocation by kidnapping of Israeli soldiers took place, the same person who used the name Sgt Cambell also used the names Teranis and Allan Bilondi to write a comment complaining that we liberals shouldn’t criticize the government. The thing this person didn’t understand is that we have a moderated commenting system, in order to filter out spam, and so this person wrote the same message under two names, and then had one of the pseudonyms agree with himself. This morning, all of those messages were approved and put online.

Oh, how embarrassing for our self-professed anti-gay murderer.

The thing is that this person doesn’t just claim to be a murderer. He also claims to be a professor in “astro-physics”. Writing as Tyler Keys in a comment on an article in our diaries section about a disaster scenario involving a black hole engulfing the Earth, this person claims to “have tought molecular energy course for 17 years at a well-known college”. Uh huh.

I think what we’ve got here is an angry young person who embraces all kinds of right wing hatred, and is afraid to let his or her true self be seen. My, what a fantasy world this person has created, being a violent sergeant in the military and a physics professor at the same time. It’s a fun trip. Thanks, Allan Teranis Keys.

Of course, there is the off chance that this person actually is a murderer, or involved in the cover-up of a murder. If you happen to know anything about this person and any real criminal activity, call the police.

14 comments to An Irregular Murder Mystery?

  • HareTrinity

    Oh, that’s disgusting…

    For the record, though:

    For the majority of the time. All because certain bigots like to believe straight girls don’t have such interests doesn’t mean they don’t.

    Obviously there are some exceptions, like the obviously huge number of straight guys who don’t like lesbians.

    Oh, and transvestites, hermaphrodites and bisexuals were unmentioned (all groups who are known for prefering the blurring of the male/female line), and metrosexuals can be bigots too.

  • Iroquois Honky

    A few years ago some gay guys moved into the 16-unit building I was living in, and no one knew what to think of it. As a straight woman, I knew right away I liked the idea. First, a young male presense would discourage crime in a building that was mostly gray haired ladies. Also the tall one was cheating on the shy one, so it was another subject for gossip. Also I don’t have to worry about gay guys hitting on me because they don’t, and it’s nice to just talk to someone for a change. So yes, I like gay guys, and no, no, no I do NOT want to know anything whatsoever about what they do in private.

  • Ralph

    Well, I’m confused.

    First you say you enjoyed gossiping about one of your gay neighbors cheating on the other one, then you said “no, no, no I do NOT want to know anything whatsoever about what they do in private.”

    Uh, which one is it?

  • Iroquois Honky

    Behind closed doors, Ralph, I’m surprised you can’t figure that out, or maybe you’re just fishing for something prurient. Who lives with who is pretty public, also who leaves a party with who after a lot of flirtation, sometimes also who has AIDS is generally known. The gray haired ladies don’t do much worth watching, other than water their geraniums.

  • Ralph

    Wasn’t he cheating behind closed doors?

    I honestly do not understand how you can take an interest in gossiping about someone’s sex life, then say you do not not not NOT want to know what he does behind closed doors.

    And just to make things clear, “what he does behind closed doors” refers to having sex in private, and “cheating” also refers to having sex in private. Right?

  • Iroquois Honky

    Deception can be quite indiscreet and quite public. Knowing who is pairing off with who is not the same as having a personal interest in the ways and the means. I think, Ralph, you just want to argue. Maybe you’re just a homophobe who wants to paint someone having a kinky hidden agenda because they accept gays as neighbors. If you will excuse me, my geraniums are starting to wilt.

  • HareTrinity


    Okay, I like the gay guy porn sites, but gossipping about people behind their backs, especially when you know one’s cheating on the other, and they’re LIVING together?

    That’s harsh.

  • Iroquois Honky

    So, HT, commenting on who is pairing off with who is too intrusive, but actually watching what someone does in bed is not intrusive?

    Oh, yes, we also gossiped about the guy upstairs who used to come home, scream profanity, then start throwing his wife against the wall. My walls would actually shake two floors down. If we could get the police to come by, the guy would be quiet for the rest of the night, but often the police wouldn’t come with just one call, so we had a calling chain and a system of identification with a code so our names wouldn’t appear on a police report.

    The gossip was a way of reaching a consensus over what problems were important for everyone, identifying the tools for solving the problems, and sometimes even protecting the weak.

    But paying for sex? I can’t think of anything more depersonalizing, for the buyer or the seller. No, I’m not a predator or a user and I will not support the porn industry with my money.

  • HareTrinity

    Watching what people do in bed when they know they’re being watched is less rude than talking about them behind their backs, yes. Less deception and such, it’s pretty straight-forward.

    Gossip and group actions aren’t necessarily best off related, when you want something done it’s best to make sure other people really know, not just natter to them about it secretly.

    And paying for sex is prostitution, paying for depictions of sex is a tad different from that. I tend not to pay for it anyway, I browse free sites and forums where people show off.

    Supporting the normal porn industry isn’t something I tend to do because I dislike the anorexic models. I don’t support many fashion lines either, keen on unbranded and unusual.

    Ah well.

  • Iroquois Honky

    The point about not having everyone know who was talking about them was the danger. If someone regularly beats his wife and throws her against the wall as soon as he comes home, this is a dangerous, violent person. He wasn’t the only one either. Another tenant had a boyfriend who was okay until he started drinking, she kept taking him back. A lot of the tenants were in their 80’s and frail. They did not want the individuals involved to retaliate against them or mostly they were afraid their cars would be vandalized as they were parked outside in plain view.

    The police can’t protect you in a case like that. But if no one reports a problem, the problem will just go on and no one will want to live there. I’m not going to get my name mixed up in it when someone is violent like that. The police have guns. That’s what the police are for. If everyone agrees on the action and is consulted beforehand, the problem is solved with no hard feelings later.

    I have always thought that whenever money changes hands, there is some element of coercion, even if it’s as innocent as buying someone dinner.

    Maybe I’ll change my mind about paying for sex when I get older.

  • Ralph

    You say you don’t want to know about your neighbors’ sex lives, then you gossip about your neighbors’ sex lives.

    Pointing that out makes me homophobic?

    As usual, you make absolutely no sense.

  • Iroquois Honky

    Why is it so hard for Ralph to accept the idea that someone else does not have a burning desire to know what the gay guys are doing behind closed doors. Maybe because he himself is interested in ‘guy on guy’? Eewwwww….

  • Ralph

    I really wonder what goes on inside your head, IH.

    Do you consciously think, oh darn, I’m wrong, I’d better twist this around somehow to cover my ass?

    Or does reality actually present itself to your conscious mind already pre-twisted to accomodate you being right?

    I understand why someone might take an interest in the sex lives of their neighbors.

    I also understand why someone might not want to know about the sex lives of their neighbors.

    My point, once again, please pay close attention:

    It is paradoxical to both take an interest in the sex lives of one’s neighbors and not to take an interest in the sex lives of one’s neighbors.

    Apparently, perceiving this to be a paradox is evidence of my own latent homosexuality. Or homophobia. Or, something…

  • Iroquois Honky


Leave a Reply




You can use these HTML tags

<a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>