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Halitosis as a Form of Protest

Today, I started my first business trip since the alleged terrorist plot that took America back to Code Orange Alert. I still haven’t done my patriotic duty and adopted a bunker mentality, so silly me, I packed a tube of toothpaste in my carry-on bag. I had to throw it out into the garbage before I could get through security. The evildoers are just aching to get minty fresh formulas up into the skies, apparently.

So, I was waiting for my flight, wondering what I’m going to have to do when I get to my destination. It would be past 10:00 in the evening, so the airport shops wouldn’t be open. By the time I’d get to my hotel, it will be close to 11:00 PM, so the hotel shop would be closed too. I supposed that I could spend another 30 minutes, and another ten dollars in cab fares, to find a late night pharmacy to buy my toothpaste. I have to start work at 7:00 AM, so I certainly won’t have much time to go shopping in the morning. Maybe if I wake up at 5:00 AM, I’ll have time to go scrambling around town for toothpaste.

Or, I could just say to hell with it and forget the toothpaste. I mean, I really am sick of this Homeland Security garbage, where every little terrorist plot or alleged conspiracy to form a terrorist plot, or unconfirmed rumor of an alleged conspiracy to form a terrorist plot forces us to throw away another part of our lives to serve the security machine.

What’s next? An alleged terrorist plot to blow up airplanes with plastique explosives in the form of fake boogers shoved up the terrorists’ noses? Will we all have to blow our noses and take decongestants before going through the security checkpoint?

So, I suppose, I could just forget the toothpaste. I could go to bed tonight without brushing my teeth, though I had dinner in the car on the way to the airport. Then, I could wake up in the morning and just start my day of work without brushing my teeth. If someone complains about my bad breath, I’d just tell them to call the Department of Homeland Security. United we stink!

Imagine if every business traveller did this. That’s the kind of protest that could bring down the government. The corporate economy would grind to a halt in no time. No meetings. No projects. No work.

Ah, but we won’t do that, will we? No, we’ll all just scramble for that extra half hour or so in the morning, with less time for ourselves, but our careers intact. At this point, we’ll do whatever the Homeland Security people tell us to do for however long they need us to go through these little rituals of paranoia, keeping the politics of terror alive for another election cycle.

9 thoughts on “Halitosis as a Form of Protest”

  1. More Important Things to Ponder says:

    Get a life. Suck it up and put your toothpaste in your hold luggage or check your carry on bag.

  2. Stinker says:

    Yeah! And that Arab who was told to remove his t-shirt, he should have just sucked it up, right?

    And that program for the government to track our telephone calls and emails? We should just suck it up and stop saying anything private except in hushed whispers in the closet, right?

    And the torture going on in American-run prisons around the world? Those wusses! They ought to just suck it up!

    Forget all about your freedom! Forget all about a rational society! There was an alleged plot to plan to do something bad halfway around the world, so you have to throw away your personal items. Suck it up, right!

  3. More Important Things to Ponder says:

    Hear, hear!

  4. More Important Things to Ponder says:

    Oh, yeah….I was on a flight out of London Gatwick on the 16th of August. Didn’t mind leaving the bottle of water prior to reaching Security. I just bought another in the departure area and didn’t lose one teardrop

  5. Stinker says:

    Yeah, and even if the plot had gone ahead as alleged, you wouldn’t have been blown up! They weren’t on your flight, and even the flight they were on wasn’t going to be blown up. Oh, details!

  6. More Important Things to Ponder says:

    They didn’t make it to any flight, which is the point, I believe. Your ignorance of the story is staggering!

  7. Laurie O says:

    The UK Terror Plot: What’s Really Going On?

    The following article was written by Craig Murray, writer and broadcaster.
    His last job was British Ambassador to Uzbekistan (2002-2004) Interesting read, again one man’s opinion but better info than CNN or MSNBC to say the least.

    Give it a read and then see what you think.

    And see if you can have a more intelligent conversation than “nanni nanni boo boo”

  8. Jim says:

    Well, what is there more intelligent to say than, “that could be…”. We don’t really know either way. It’s very difficult to prove a negative when evidence is kept secret, which is what the Homeland Security people depend on when they trot out the latest “conspiracy.”

  9. Iroquois Honky says:

    The guy seems pretty biased, but who knows the truth? For example the guy in the British government he doesn’t like is characterized as a Stalinist AND a communist. I don’t know British politics that well, but it seems kind of odd. No proof is offered.

    Also I think you can’t fool al the people all the time. Watergate came out eventually, WMD came out eventually, if they want any credibility at all they have to be somewhat fact based. There are also lots and lots of people in on the investigation, the Brits are cynical about politicians, so even if there is a political bias, it would be impossible to hide real shennanigans indefinately. now they have been leaking that some videos were found that the suicide bombers make before they do their bombing job, so the implication is they were close to completing some sort of terrorist event. My gut feeling is the governments are doing this by the seat of their pants, are basically clueless, and don’t have anything in mind, although they will exploit it for political gain even if it turns out to be small potatoes. i think it will be medium potatoes, but half baked.

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