Let’s cut the bull, okay? Everyone knows why we’re fighting in Iraq and Afghanistan. It’s for the coffee, man. Iraqis and Afghans had the best coffee in the world, nice and thick and rich, and with cream made completely without bovine growth hormone. We wanted it. Our caffeine-based economy demanded it, what with coffee consumption going up year after year, and Starbucks on almost every corner. We became the venti latte society, and now we’re paying the price, all so that the big coffee companies can have their cuppajoe pipeline running all the way from Java to Kenya, conveniently right through Afghanistan and Iraq.
Thank goodness for Peace Coffee! They know what’s really going on, and are working to stop the coffee wars that are being run covertly across the world under the guise of the so-called War on Terror. Coffee drinkers for peace need a voice, and that’s why I’m proud to support Peace Coffee, which sells coffee against war…
…or actually, just sells fair trade coffee. Hm. Well, a portion of profits in the past have gone to Rigoberta Menchu’s work, which led her to receive the Nobel Peace Prize in 1992. That’s peachy. Peachy coffee?
Oh, dear me, I’m getting all turned around. I guess a cup of peace coffee can make a person kind of agitated.