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Which is the Real Unity08? We Little People Can’t Possibly Understand.

Unity08, the corporation which wants to nominate its own candidates for president and vice president of the United States, has a consistency problem when it comes to lobbyists:

Unity 08, Version 1 (Press Release A and Press Release B):

“Despite the elections, lobbyist corruption and bitter partisanship remain the reality in Washington – proof positive that the system is broken…. Through Unity08, for the first time we are going to throw out the backroom deals…. You’ll vote. You’ll decide. Not the consultants and spin doctors. Not the special interests. Not the lobbyists.”

“We believe the influence of fat-cat lobbyists has gotten so bad that if Unity08 is going to transform politics, we need to start at the top – in the White House. But that means if any president is going to try to talk the talk of cleaning up the lobbyist culture in Washington, he or she had better have walked the walk in the campaign….”

Unity 08, Version 2 (Unity08 COO Anya Harris):

“Sure we have legal counsel who may have lobbying expertise. What law firm in Washington, DC doesnt? Sure we have other folks who have been part of the political establishment. You have to have been in it to know what’s wrong with it.”

On the one hand, Unity08 pledges to oust the consultants, spin doctors, special interests and lobbyists from their position of power in politics. On the other hand, Unity08 characterizes its own organization’s consultants, spin doctors, special interests and lobbyists as indispensable.

An organization led by consultants, spin doctors, special interests and lobbyists — with the aim of ending the influence of consultants, spin doctors, special interests and lobbyists? These two claims appear to be incompatible by my understanding.

But who am I, anyway? I’m just one of the little people. See, you have to be part of the political establishment to understand the political establishment. Only the movers and shakers — the players, the consultants, the spin doctors, the special interests and the lobbyists — only the insiders really understand. We little people don’t get it and really can’t get it. See, “You have to have been in it to know what’s wrong with it.”

So don’t you worry your pretty little head now. Just run along now and let the big boys and girls take care of it. They know what they’re doing, and they’ll make sure everything gets fixed just right.

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