Unity08 Wants You, Unless Your Mother Was an Immigrant
I have received a very, very interesting e-mail from Unity08, a corporation currently in the middle of a joint public relations and political effort to run its own presidential and vice presidential candidates for president of the United States in 2008. Here it is in its entirety:
Come meet us!
Join Unity08 leadership in studying cultural opinions at a series of unique research sessions. These sessions will use a divergent approach that lasts three hours, so all participants will need to confirm they can meet the following six criteria:
1. I agree to participate as a volunteer;
2. I confirm I will be able to stay for the full three hours and not leave the session early;
3. I have not, nor has anyone in my household or immediate family, worked in advertising or market research;
4. My mother was born in the United States;
5. I was born in the United States and lived in the US until at least the age of 15; and,
6. Both my mother and I spoke in American English when I was growing up.
Unity08 is holding these sessions at three locations around the country:
* August 1st and 2nd in Washington D.C.
* August 8th and 9th in New York City NY
* August 23rd and 24th in San Diego CA
If you meet all six criteria please secure your seat by writing “I meet all six criteria” in the subject line of your email. Send your email to us at the below location for any of the above dates you can attend:
As this research is unique and attendance limited we will provide details, times and places only to those we confirm for each location on a first-come, first-serve basis.
Unity08 leadership and I look forward to meeting all members who can make it.
P.S.: Feel free to invite your non-Unity08 friends to RSVP as well. This is a study of our politics, leadership and government, and it’s larger than any one campaign!
So there you have it. Douglas L. Bailey, the expelled Unity08 CEO who is still apparently serving in the Unity08 leadership, has invited “all members” of Unity08 and “non-Unity08 friends” to “a study of our politics, leadership and government” in three cities of the West and East coast. Nobody except the invited gets to know the secret undisclosed location of these studies.
Most interesting to me is that “all members” and “non-Unity08 friends” aren’t really welcome to these meetings at undisclosed locations. Unity08 doesn’t want you to come to its three meetings if ANY of the following are true:
* you’re familiar with the methods of advertising and market research
* your mother is an immigrant
* your mother didn’t speak English when you were growing up
* regardless of your citizenship, you are an immigrant
* you lived outside the United States some time before the age of 15
* you didn’t speak English when you were growing up
If ANY of these are true, then Unity08 would rather you didn’t show up to its meetings.
I have lots of questions about this, so many that I don’t know where to start, except with the biggest question of all:
What is the explanation for this?
If you’d like to know, too, I suggest you send an e-mail on to email@example.com, Newyork@unity08.com, and Sandiego@unity08.com and request a full explanation of Unity08’s attendance priorities. I don’t expect an answer myself — multiple Unity08 leaders have gone silent since I asked them if they would sign a Safe Money Pledge — but perhaps you can get some sort of response. If you do, please pass it on.