Is there a YouCrime Wave?
Some way, some how, Urban Institute researchers John Roman and Aaron Chalfin managed to convince the nonprofit to publish their report, entitled “Is There an iCrime Wave?” You can read the whole shebang here, but to give you the gist of it here’s their abstract:
New national FBI statistics show violent crime increased in 2005 and 2006 — the first jumps in 14 years, and the recent increases defy easy explanation. Homicides and robberies are up, while other violent crimes — rapes and aggravated assaults — and all types of property crimes continue to decline. While many hypotheses have been put forward to explain the crime wave, none can explain both why crime started to increase in 2005, and why the crime wave seems to be most concentrated in robberies. In this brief, we propose that the rise in violent offending and the explosion in the sales of iPods and other portable media devices is more than coincidental. We propose that, over the past two years, America may have experienced an iCrime wave.
You know, I think Roman and Chalfin are barking up the entirely wrong tree. I think it’s a YouCrime wave, not an iCrime wave. You see, during the years of 2005 and 2006, YouTube video watching among Americans went way, way, way way, really way up. And THAT’S when homicides and robberies went up!
COINCIDENCE? I don’t think so! It’s a YouTube-empowered crime wave! There must be subliminal, or subliminable, or somethingorotherable signals coming through the internet tubes, turning formerly law-abiding individuals into homicidal kleptomaniacs. There’s a correlation in time between these two phenomena, so it must be true!
If you see your gramma watching that cute dancing toddler on YouTube, don’t turn your back: she may have an Uzi up her sleeve.