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Mike Huckabee Combines Fantasy Violence, Jesus and Fundraising

The weirdness of Mike Huckbee grows deeper and deeper, everywhere I look. Consider his campaign fundraisers. They’re called “Rangers”, as in Walker Texas Ranger, as in Chuck Norris. These Rangers lead what are called “fundraising commando squads”, as in the following real message from a Huckabee Ranger:

“CHUCK NORRIS WANTS YOU FOR THE ELITE UNIT OF HUCKABEE SUPPORTERS -THE RANGERS……… Enlist today in the ever-growing grassroots fundraising commando squad that every day helps to fuel the Huckabee campaign. This won’t be a walk in the park. VETERANS ONLY. If you cannot enlist, you can help me reach my personal goal of $2,000…”

Chuck Norris is Mike Huckabee’s famous Hollywood right winger. What a lot of people don’t know about Chuck Norris is that he once led a comic book commando squad of his own, the Karate Kommandos.

So, there are now Chuck Norris Comic Book Karate Fundraising Commando squads. The cherry on top comes when you remember what Huckabee these commando squads are really for – to “take back this nation for Christ”. Yes, Commandos for Christ.

This, I guess, is the ultimate question for the Mike Huckabee for President campaign: Who would Jesus karate kick to get some money?

Does anyone really want to put Mike Huckabee, with his Chuck Norris Comic Book Karate Fundraising Commandos for Christ, in the position of Commander in Chief?

animated movie Chuck Norris Comic Book Karate Fundraising Commandos for Christ

(YouTube formatted version)

4 comments to Mike Huckabee Combines Fantasy Violence, Jesus and Fundraising

  • I have no problem with your irregular point of view of politics and religion…that is your undeniable right to think that way. I do however have a real problem with your bumper sticker that says “Torture is Power” that you claim is put out by the USO. I am afraid you have overstepped even your boundaries by making a false staement, my friend. I am a volunteer with the USO at Dallas/Ft. Worth and a team leader. No USO I know of would ever endorse or manufacture something like that. We have a mix of political positions at the USO here but not one would not support this. A difference of opinion is one thing but this is simply false.
    I am bringing this to the attention of our World Headquarters.

  • Way to be remix the facts, Jeannie.

    The bumper sticker is a satire of the “Power of Pride” bumper sticker, which encouraged the hypernationalism and suppression of critical skepticism of the government that has led to horrors like Abu Ghraib and laws attempting to legalize torture.

    The pride of America, celebrated by the USO’s bumper sticker, has led to the USA’s tarnished reputation around the world.

    The bumper sticker reads “Power of Torture”, not “Torture is Power”, and the description of it clearly states that it’s a satire.

    Here’s the text that goes next to the bumper sticker: “This satire on the power of pride bumper stickers put out by the USO shows the true might behind the American military machine: The power of torture. Brutally honest.”

    Where’s the false statement in that, Jeannnie? The description doesn’t claim that the USO created the bumper sticker. It points out that this bumper sticker is a satire of the power of pride bumper stickers that were distributed by the USO.

    Go ahead and contact the USO and try to get them to shut down. You’ll just be confirming the very point of we wanted to make in creating the bumper sticker. People like you just can’t handle political dissent in America. You prefer pride.

    That’s your free choice. By the way, it’s not just our freedom to think as we wish, it’s also our freedom to speak as we wish.

    Have fun with World Headquarters, Jeannie.

  • Brian Pearson

    Satire? ” Irony, sarcasm, or caustic wit used to attack or expose folly, vice, or stupidity.” Just exactly what does this to to put down or to enlighten us about Huckabee? He is not a one-dimensional candidate. In fact he probably has more to say about a broader range of issues than any of his competitors.

  • You know, I happen to think that the bizarre pop-cultural combination of religion with violence is a pretty enlightening revelation. That’s just me, though. Karate Commandos for Christ?

    But you enlighten us, now Brian. Funny that you couldn’t name even one dimension of Huckabee’s campaign in your comment. So far, his campaign seems pretty one-dimensional to me: Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, and some more Jesus, loaded up on top of a Jesus souffle, with some Jesus on the side.

    Oh, and Jeannie, we never heard from the USO. Did you not follow through, or did they just recognize the little nut at the kernel of the treat you brought them?

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