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Unemployed in Minneapolis? Try Snitching on Political Protesters!

Having a hard time in Minneapolis, Minnesota? Suffering because you lost your job? Struggling because the price of gas makes it unaffordable for you to drive around town? Well, look on the bright side, Joe! Make lemons out of lemonade, Lucinda! If you have to walk or bike around town already, why not turn it into part of new, lucrative professional life…

… that of the political snitch?

That’s right, Joe and Lucinda: The FBI is hiring citizens to infiltrate and spy on legitimate and legal citizen organizations gearing up to protest the Republican Party at the Republican Convention this September. And what better street cred than someone who bikes or walks all around town? Just tell everyone it’s a choice and you’ll be in like Flynn. Sure, you’ll be expanding the reach of authoritarian government and squelching the first amendment rights to free speech and assembly… but at least it’s a job.

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Psst... what kind of person doesn't support pacifism?