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And I Also Wipe My Very Own Bottom, I Will Have You Know!

In honor of Vincent Bugliosi, who just spent some time berating the host of the radio show Politically Direct for failing to mention that he wrote the book Helter Skelter three decades ago, then moved on to explaining that until he, Vincent Bugliosi, wrote his latest book nobody, not one person, had ever done anything against George W. Bush…

… yes, in honor of the maximally humble Vincent Bugliosi I shall take this space to direct my ire at you, you the little public member speck, you the tiny reader person. You have never taken the effort to do some simple research and find out that I, I almost won a talent contest in middle school! How disappointing of you, you who have surely never written the words “maximal praying mantis centerfold photography work,” no, not like I, I, I have just done. In my spare time! Hah!

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Psst... what kind of person doesn't support pacifism?

Fight the Republican beast!