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What the Alien Greys Want From Planet Earth

This morning, I was abducted from my usual round of reading by the discovery of an odd little article entitled, Why “The Greys” are here and what they want with us. The greys, we are to understand, are a kind of space alien that has visited planet Earth and taken people on board their flying saucers for unusual experiments that no one understands.

what do the greys want?What do the greys want, and why are they here? I called them up on the telephone this morning to ask them, and here’s what they told me they want:

– Low, low prices
– A planet that isn’t so touristy
– No methane (stinky)
– Good beaches, with a warming climate
– A little bit of color (you’ll note that the grey in the photograph is actually turning a little beige)
– Zagat recommends Earth as a good place to eat
– They’re looking for a bartender who knows how to make a Long Island Ice Tea that isn’t too dry

The greys came to Earth several decades early so that they could get in line for the iPhone. The first 100 iPhones went on board their spaceships. Then, just a few months later, Apple went and cut the price in half. Watch out, Steve Jobs – ET is pissed, and he wants more than just a refund.

6 comments to What the Alien Greys Want From Planet Earth

  • Anonymous

    I want grey female asshole. Will they let me put my dick in them? Just kidding……. I prefer sheep.

  • I wonder which country they would prefer.. I am sure they got enought electronics where they come from, so I would think south america, africa, india or something similar. But anyhow, theres lots of potential for those analprobes they like to inject down here.

  • Quiet! Fools!

    Some are good and some are bad. Some of them are being suppressed by the government in a lock down facility where humans as well as greys are being experimented on. Our foolish government has no way of stoping them so they give sacrifices like humans so they don’t end up taking over our planet. Which is only temperary because they are now planning their assualt. And yes the government tried to stop them but they aren’t used to or familiar with their system of technology. Unless the world stops acting ignorant and having their heads up their asses by having beliefs. I follow the truth I don’t give a fuck what people think they believe is true because I know the truth. Instead we need to evolve and avoid the risk of having our planet thrown into oblivion. By the way you’ll see what I mean when they start to attack us. Watch when shit starts happening. Everyones going to feel like an ass because they follow a system of beliefs.

    • Vanessa

      I agree. They have ALWAYS been here. They created us and ‘evolved’ us and now they probably dont know what to do with us, our numbers and advancement in nuclear weapons. They are many. There isnt just one kind of ‘god’ that came from the stars there are many. The Mayans are correct we are into the 5th world. Personally I cant wait. we need a ‘re-do’.

  • Anonymous

    Winners dont do drugs.

  • The Greys are Here

    Politico reports that advisers to the main 2012 presidential contenders and other veteran Republican operatives reveal they have one mission in common: Stop Sarah Palin. Pickup this message at 214PM via Smirf etc. decoded 227PM

    Obtained from reliable sources and yes it’s true Aliens have decided to cast their vote for the Tea party.The greys have reviewed the political issues of all the party’s and have agreed that those who have the tea party’s viewpoints are less likely to present issues that conflict with their globle view obstructions. Sometime soon after the midterm elections they will make themselves knowed but in the intermin they have left their sexuality concerns and viewpoints in sacred trust with the earthling Sara. All other concerns about the future have been stored in the secret and private volts of the A1 Limo service. Since my retirement my personal advisor in matters of this importance have been rendered to me from Horhay who is also a friend and my special ranch weed grower. Sincerely, your friend George

    Jeffrey Skilling, the former Enron Corporation president, has one last, good chance to get out of prison soon. The Fifth U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals in Houston will hear arguments today about how many, if any, of the 19 felony counts on which Mr. Skilling was convicted in 2006 should be overturned as a result of the landmark Supreme Court decision in his case. Please don’t worry Election Year Medicaid Medicare Inducement issues left open for November not openly discussed.Politics have gone from heated to man on fire thoughts. Also the Judicial dilemmas, since all are offically allowed to bear arms again, the big city Mayors are concerned about how the poor will be able to rearm themselves, and are looking for some type of financial relief from Federal State Medicaid programs to maintain their status quo.The higher courts face tough issues this term since making honest fraud legal, there agenda now turns toward making honest kickbacks and honest bribes equally as legal. This topic remains high as a shared issue by the medicaid medicare enrollment providers since they are looking to expand inducements past the complicated pregnancy stage.

    The DOJ has serious concerns that if legalized marijuana in California for medical reasons could be used as a inducement or inticement to help secure new enrollments for the Federal State Medicare Medicaid programs.The State of California is concerned that if the Feds step up their effort in killing off the marijuana crops it could cause higher tax problems that effect Medicaid currently under consideration by the State ‘marijuana tax control board’. Limo drivers cancel their planned Medicaid Cuts DC rally and leave for California to protect this years crop. Wow, don’t think I would like to be in Politics for this years elections. Govenor Schwarzenegger indicated that if the Tea Partys membership keeps holding their rallies at our Marijuana burning fields they will have to be taxed for their free use of inhalants, prior to having them bused back to Arizona. Senator McCain wants the deportation of illegal Mexicans to stop immediatley claims their State has gone to POT and insists California return his landscapers at once.

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