This morning, I was abducted from my usual round of reading by the discovery of an odd little article entitled, Why “The Greys” are here and what they want with us. The greys, we are to understand, are a kind of space alien that has visited planet Earth and taken people on board their flying saucers for unusual experiments that no one understands.
What do the greys want, and why are they here? I called them up on the telephone this morning to ask them, and here’s what they told me they want:
- Low, low prices
- A planet that isn’t so touristy
- No methane (stinky)
- Good beaches, with a warming climate
- A little bit of color (you’ll note that the grey in the photograph is actually turning a little beige)
- Zagat recommends Earth as a good place to eat
- They’re looking for a bartender who knows how to make a Long Island Ice Tea that isn’t too dry
The greys came to Earth several decades early so that they could get in line for the iPhone. The first 100 iPhones went on board their spaceships. Then, just a few months later, Apple went and cut the price in half. Watch out, Steve Jobs – ET is pissed, and he wants more than just a refund.