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Forget Your ID? Terrorist!

Deine Papieren, Bitte!

Did you forget your identification card when traveling by air earlier this year? Congratulations! You were added to the Transportation Security Administration’s terrorist watch list, and your name was shared as that of a potential terrorist with state and local law enforcement agencies. The security of das Heimatland demanded it…

… because that’s the first step toward terrorism, you know, leaving your ID at home. It’s a gateway activity toward broader disruptions of the System upon which you and I lie prostrate depend. The Department of Homeland Security is further recommending that you call the Operation TIPS hotline to report on little old ladies who drop the bananas at the Piggly Wiggly.

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