In the United States of America, we’ve got freedom of the Press guaranteed in our Constitution, right there in the First Amendment of the Bill of Rights. And why do we have freedom of the Press in the USA? It’s for a very good reason: So that reporters can write freely about political candidates’ hair!
Irregular Times has spent a good amount of time over the last couple of weeks trying to alert American journalists to the serious threat of a theocratic conspiracy that claims a goal to “invade”, “infiltrate” and “penetrate” American secular government, taking it over in order to push a narrow, right wing religious agenda. That theocratic conspiracy comes through Sarah Palin, the political newcomer we know very little about, and we’re tipped off to it by Thomas Muthee, the favorite witch hunter of Palin’s home church.
It isn’t just that Thomas Muthee incites violent mobs, or gives supernatural protection to Sarah Palin from witchcraft. It’s that Thomas Muthee campaigned illegally for Sarah Palin in her own church, announcing that Palin would enter government in order to implement what that church thinks is the will of God. Palin’s church responded to that call to arms with enthusiasm, and then Sarah Palin came right out of the audience in order to pray with Muthee that the theocratic mission would be accomplished, “in Jesus’s name”.
Oh, but never mind that. That’s just details of the story that have to do with preserving the Constitution, and not going back to the religious vigilante churches of colonial times. What is that, when compared to Sarah Palin’s personal sense of style?
That’s the question I set out to answer this evening. I searched the Google News database for news stories about Sarah Palin and three keywords: Muthee, hair, and glasses. Here’s what I found:
Search for news articles about Palin and Muthee, and you get 48 results, and none of those are from major American newspapers.
Search for news articles about Palin and hair, however, and you get a whopping 3,978 results, with American reporters all over that story like, well, hair on a dog (which is not quite the same thing as lipstick on a pig).
Search for news articles about Palin and glasses, and you get even more results: 4,167. Dear me, but it seems that the fact that Sarah Palin wears glasses is a very, very important issue in this election. To that, I can only comment that I am so glad that nobody expects me to make a pass at Sarah Palin.
Women praying for the Ten Commandments in public schools do not turn me on.
Oooh, American journalists are really playing hardball with Palin, aren’t they?