Crisis! Stocks Up 200 Points! Run for the Hills! Augh!
We’ll all be sorry that we haven’t given Wall Street bankers 700 billion dollars of our money, congressional leaders told us yesterday afternoon. There will be a crisis that wrecks us all, and then we’ll wish that we had listened.
And they were so right! This morning, the crisis rages on! Stocks are up 200 points!
Stocks up? A crisis?
Well, yes, it’s a crisis. It’s a crisis for the crisis, see.
Don’t worry. I’ve come up with a plan to save the crisis! All you have to do is empty out your bank accounts and give me the money, and that will stabilize markets… especially the market where I buy my groceries.