Enter the Paliban
A movement has emerged in defense of Sarah Palin. Moving swiftly and silently through the hills before descending into valley towns with a message of faith, purity and good hair, the Paliban never leave a community without a message of some, as you know, with tax reduction and, um, helping, oh, it’s got to be all about job creation too, so healthcare reform and reducing taxes and reining in spending has got to accompany tax reductions, and tax relief for Americans, and trade.
An audio tape, apparently recorded near Kodiak and containing what experts say is the voice of the Paliban second-in-command, exhorts Americans to ignore the seductions of liberty and return, return to the country’s true prophetic path:
Sarah Palin will bring us Operation Rapture. Barack Hussein Obama, what will he bring?
Health care for all?
Who needs health care, when Jesus is coming?
Who needs a house, when it’s going to be vaporized soon?
A higher minimum wage?
God doesn’t care about money, why should we?
She knows Jesus. What else does she need to know?
“Join Operation Rapture!” the voice on tape is heard before shifting into repetitive vocalizations that only true believers can understand. If you don’t understand, you just have to believe a little bit harder.