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What Plummet?

“Wall Street Plummets!” reads the Reuters headline. Markets In Tailspin, says another. I don’t see it.

The Dow Jones is down by about 350 points, or about 4 percent, in the first 30 minutes of trading. That’s a slip, but not a plummet, especially given that half that amount was actually gained in yesterday’s trading. Nasdaq and the S&P 500 are also down only about 4 percent so far.

Update: Since I wrote the above, the Dow has climbed back up to just minus 325 for the day. This is not a tailspin. If it were a tailspin, the Dow would be down by 750 by now, and leaving a trail of black smoke behind it.

Calm down, financial reporters. Calm down. Don’t you believe in the genius of the marketplace any more?

In the real economy, we’re in crisis. Wall Street isn’t having a crisis. They’re just feeling a little down in the mouth, poor things.

Second Update: Was I wrong? The Dow is now down another ten points to minus 335 for the day! What rapid, out of control losses… not.

Third Update: CNN Money is calling it a “bloodbath” – with the Dow going back and forth between just minus 310 and minus 330. Bloodbath? A scratch, maybe.

Does Wall Street have a boo boo? Don’t cry, Wall Street. I’ll blow on it, and then give you a Disney Princess band-aid to make it all better, okay?

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