There’s a fair amount of talk in Republican Party circles that Barack Obama must really and truly be the son of Malcolm X, because Republicans keep encountering pictures of Barack Obama in the checkout line, and a few of them saw the movie Malcolm X once, and to their eyes Barack Obama and Malcolm X look alike. There is a fatal flaw in this reasoning: to these Republicans, all black people kind of look alike. Hey, maybe every black kid in America is the love child of Malcolm X!
An alternative theory that just might be a bit more reasonable came to me when I was watching PBS this morning. Could Barack Obama be the secret son of Tinky Winky?
1. Barack Obama has big ears. Tinky Winky has big ears!
2. Tinky Winky is a creature of color. Barack Obama? A person of color!
3. John McCain had to yell at the Teletubbies to get off his lawn. What were the Teletubbies doing on John McCain’s lawn?
4. It has been said that Barack Obama’s charm runs deep… down to his DNA. Tinky Winky is a very charming “father figure” to children around the world. Coincidence?
5. Jerry Falwell said Tinky Winky is gay. Gay men across the country are attracted to Barack Obama.
6. At no time before her death did Stanley “Ann” Dunham, alleged mother of Barack Obama, distance herself from the Teletubbies in general or Tinky Winky in particular.
7. This secret picture of Tinky Winky during a break in filming has emerged, conveniently less than a week after the election:
… and as we all know, Barack Obama kisses a portrait of “Papa” Stalin every night before brushing his teeth. Josef Stalin brushed his teeth.
8. The whereabouts of Tinky Winky during the period in which Stanley “Ann” Dunham attended the University of Washington nine months before Barack Obama’s birth ARE UNKNOWN.
9. Barack Obama has not answered questions surrounding these allegations. Why the cone of silence around this matter? WHAT IS BARACK OBAMA AFRAID OF?