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Unbalanced Water

Seen in a hotel room this morning – a complimentary bottle of Acqua Panna natural spring water. What is the hotel trying to tell people staying there about the quality of its tap water?

Is the water from a natural spring, or is it just the water that’s natural? The water is from Tuscany, in Italy. Is it natural to put water in bottles and transport them halfway around the world so that they can sit in hotel rooms, waiting for someone to take a sip? I don’t recall seeing anything like that taking place on Mutual of Omaha’s Wild Kingdom when I was kid.

The bottle says that the water is smooth. Is there such a thing as water that is not smooth? Ice, maybe?

The water is also described as balanced. What would unbalanced bottled water look like? Would it all be shifted off to one side of the bottle, in some kind of gravitational quirk?

On one part of the label, the parent company of Acqua Panna, Nestle Waters North America, Inc., celebrates the bottle’s innovative cap, but on the other side, the label warns: pop-top cover contains small parts and poses a choking hazard for young children. Is that part of the innovation Nestle Waters was aiming for? How many years of innovative research did it take for them to come up with a cap that could choke small children?

1 comment to Unbalanced Water

  • C2 Joe

    Duh! Highly marketed water sealed beneath a potentially dangerous, anti-child cap just tastes better. This water is NOT for kids: this is Adult Water that must be earned like a Rolex.

    This alternatively-spelled water means business, or possibly sex. And THAT is why your hotel chose it to make you feel special, if not actually laid.

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