The War on Christmas Carols
Why does the Four Points Sheraton in Chicago hate Christmas? The hotel is blatantly taking part in the commercial War Against Christmas that has brought the beloved holiday close to nearly under threat of a potential partial cancellation.
Walk into the hotel and you will hear what I hear – the anti-Christmas playing of Christmas carols. The Little Drummer Boy, O Come All Ye Faithful, and O Little Town of Bethlehem – you’ll hear them all playing in the hotels decked halls.
And why? Why? Well, because it’s not even close to being the Christmas season yet, but the Christmas carols have been playing practically since Halloween. Clearly, the people in charge of the hotel are trying to spread their heresy: That Jesus was not born on the 25th of December, but had a birthday extending from November 1st through December 25th.
Just as orthodox Christian theology holds that Mary miraculously gave birth to Jesus without ever having sex, the Four Points heresy suggests that Mary was in a miracle of childbirth for almost two months straight, with Christmas extending for weeks on end, beginning even before Thanksgiving.
Call hotel management now and demand that this War Against Christmas stop now!