Enter your email address to subscribe to Irregular Times and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 375 other subscribers

Irregular Times Newsletters

Click here to subscribe to any or all of our six topical e-mail newsletters:
  1. Social Movement Actions,
  2. Credulity and Faith,
  3. Election News,
  4. This Week in Congress,
  5. Tech Dispatch and
  6. our latest Political Stickers and Such

Contact Us

We can be contacted via retorts@irregulartimes.com

Who Embezzled The Treasure of Jesus?

We all know how hard it is for child stars. They grow up learning that they can’t trust anyone – not even their parents. Just think back through all the stories you’ve read about child stars suing their own parents for cheating them out of the money they’ve earned.

It’s been that way for a long time. Just think about Jesus, and all the money he was cheated out of. Don’t remember that story? Well, just sing through all the verses of Do You Hear What I Hear?, and think about this one:

A child, a child,
shivering in the cold
let us bring him silver and gold,
let us bring him silver and gold.

Haven’t you ever wondered what happened to all that silver and gold? The gifts of the magi were embezzled. Mary and Joseph went off to the best spas Egypt in egypt to get massages and skin treatments with honey, mud, and papyrus wraps. Jesus, in the meantime, was left to make a living as a carpenter.

Do you know what I know? Watch your back – that’s the true meaning of Christmas.

8 comments to Who Embezzled The Treasure of Jesus?

  • Karen

    It didn’t say how much silver, gold, frankincense, or myrrh the guys delivered, did it? Personally, I think that was all made up later, and they (being sensible Magi) actually showed up with blankets, pacifiers, and baby clothes. And they worshipped the newborn king very quietly, while keeping watch, so that his exhausted parents could catch some sleep.

    It’s just as concocted as the Bible is as a whole, but at least it has the advantage of making sense.

  • Jim

    I think they brought him silver and gold, but then Herod the King in his raging went off the gold standard in currency and, flooding the market with his stash, set off a wave of devaluation that meant Jesus just couldn’t go to the best liberal arts school, and so he learned a trade instead.

  • Fruktata

    I think that they brought him silver and gold pencils, but the baby Jesus didn’t know how to write, and so he threw them away into the fireplace, where they shall burn forever with no hope of redemption.

  • HareTrinity

    Either way he probably had more fun with the packaging.

  • Anonymous

    No, I do
    not think it is okay as your daughters are not running for the Highest Office But Obama did, and against our constitution he was elected without serious scrutiny But you liberals do not care about it. You will see soon enough that he will not even make it to office as he will have to be pulled he does not want anyone to know.I no longer have certificate but that does not matter he does not have one and he was born in kenya, I at least can prove from the hospital i was born and prove I was not born in Kenya, Jim you Knucklehead! That is more than Nobama can say! Arnold the Guvenator cannot even run as he was not born in the USA. You liberal Idiots.

    • ANONYMOUS MAKES MORE NOISE THEN GERRANAMOUS BOSCH

    • you really can’t stand a black in office–is that what gets you so hot-and-bothered. ehhh? WELL–YOU RE-ELECTED “THE KING-OF-ALL-IDIOTS” (TWICE!!!!) NOW YOU TRIED TO ELECT SUBTLE SARA-A NORTHERN YOKEL WHO IS IGNORANT AS YUKON POTATOES AND SHOOTS ANIMALS FOR SPORT! GOD DOES NOT LIKE NEO-CONS AND THEIR BACKWARDS TRIPE-TRIPPING! even our STETSON SOUTHERN BAPTISTS DON’T THINK RELIGION IS A GOOD MIX WITH POLITICS.BUT YOU–PLAIN AND SIMPLE”bigoted RUSH LIMP-PAW DITTO-HEAD”. have no clue to the issues of humanity! BE SILENT’AND GO DO SOMETHING POSITIVE(JESUS WOULD LIKE THAT!)

  • Jim

    Oh, that’s how Jesus ran out of all that silver and gold.

Leave a Reply

  

  

  

You can use these HTML tags

<a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>