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Federal and State Governments Keep Asking Terrorists to Check This Box

Nearly two years ago, as a condition of her continued employment at a state university, my wife was asked by the State of Ohio Department of Homeland Security to check a box to indicate whether she was a member of al Qaeda or one of 132 other listed terrorist organizations. That’s right, buckaroos: the state of Ohio thought it was going to catch those darned terrorists by asking them to check a box on an application.

Ohio Homeland Security GraphicThe state of Ohio is still at it in 2008 with no sign of stopping, continuing to ask the same question for those applying for a wide variety of jobs or contracts or funding in education, administration, health care and other services:

The Great Ohio Terrorist Catching Gizmo: Check This Box!

Any terrorists caught yet?

The Division of Homeland Security has been notified only twice of would-be employees admitting to terrorist activity.

“Both times, they were simple mistakes,” said Ian Ross, a strategic planner for Homeland Security who oversees the program. “They read the forms wrong.”

It’s not just the state of Ohio that has developed this excellent strategy for catching the terrorists. The U.S. State Department has its own tricky question on a visa application for visiting foreigners:

US Visa Application: Hey, are You a Terrorist?

My favorite bit is at the bottom, where the State Department says “While a YES answer does not automatically signify ineligibility for a visa, if you answered YES you may be required to personally appear before a consular officer.” I can see the letter now:

Donald Duckelsworth
U.S. Department of State
Second Assistant Attache in VISA Affairs
Consular Desk
Karachi, Pakistan

Mr. Osama bin Laden
Cave, Pakistan

Dear Mr. bin Laden,

Your application for a nonimmigrant visa for travel to the United States has been received for processing at our department. Before your application can move to the final approval stages, we would like to schedule an interview at our consular offices in order to discuss your indication that you seek to enter the United States to engage in terrorist activities. Please bring a complete list of items that you plan to bring with you in your travels, and indicate whether you plan to declare them when at U.S. Customs. Thank you for your cooperation in this matter.

Sincerely,

Donald Duckelsworth,
Second Attache etc. etc., Esq.

9 comments to Federal and State Governments Keep Asking Terrorists to Check This Box

  • Scott

    Hate to admit it, but they caught me with one of those forms.
    I was heading to Seattle to see a concert, so was crossing from BC into Idaho (I think–might’ve been Washington). I should have checked them all off without reading them, like any normal person does, but I didn’t, I read them. In reading them, I ran the risk of misreading them. So when I got to the last question I misread, and ticked yes to a question about whether I’d ever claimed diplomatic immunity.
    The border guards didn’t bother to read the forms, they gave us our temporary visas, and we entered the country. We first stopped at the bathroom before driving on, and when I came out, there were the border guards, guns drawn, waiting for me.
    Took some explaining. They kept quizzing me about whether I knew what diplomatic immunity was, but eventually they let us on our way.
    What I found curious was that after I had checked yes, they still let me in without reading the form.

  • Ralph

    And if you had just held it in a few minutes longer, you would have gotten away with your dastardly plans!

    I don’t see what the problem is. This looks like a foolproof system for catching self-declared incontinent terrorists.

  • Anonymous

    That is Okay Because Obama’s Not a US Citizen either nor is eligible to be President OFFice of the president elect pompously usurping authority he will never have Unless he can come up with a real Birth certificate. By Dec. 1st.
    http://www.worldnetdaily.com/index.php?fa=PAGE.view&pageId=82033

  • Jim

    Oh, World Net Daily? The same outfit that refers to Barack Obama as the spawn of Satan? My, then it must be true!

  • Anonymous

    Yeah, Like this site is credible.Lefty loons,but, If the pitch fork fits.

  • Jim

    Well, you can assess our credibility as you see fit. I question the credibility of a web site that places a great deal of confidence in lawsuits aiming to overturn an election on the grounds that Barack Obama hasn’t given his birth certificate to conservative bloggers… especially when the Republican administration in the state of Hawaii has already confirmed that Barack Obama’s birth certificate exists. Update me a bit: are the Republicans in on this conspiracy too? How far-reaching is the GOP involvement?

    The web page is careless in other ways, for instance linking to a YouTube video it claims proves that Barack Obama’s grandmother was a witness to Barack Obama’s birth in Kenya, when it does no such thing. WorldNetDaily’s “facts” are just plain off. That’s an empirical assessment.

    Here’s a tip for future investigation, Anonymous: if I am indeed a “loon,” as you suggest, then as a bird I should not have voting privileges in the state of Ohio. And yet, YET!, I was able to cast a vote absentee. !! !!! I haven’t provided a DNA sample, so clearly i must be hiding something. I suggest you file a lawsuit right away.

  • Anonymous

    You are not running for president Jim, and clearly you have no regard for the constitution nor do care if the so called certificate is valid, there is no doctor, or Hospital, it will not work, Noboma will not be president.I do not care about what you have or do not have Jim, you can continue to be the God hating, America hating, liberal horses ass, you are and I could care less But NObama will not get away with not being eligible and think he can take the presidency all while disregarding our laws you liberals give Laws to terrorists and take away from citizens and then try and give the presidency to a non citizen. You Liberals do everything backwards and hate our country and love everything else but our country, our freedoms allow you to be the communist you are.

  • tom

    Give it up you anonymous moron. i’m so sick of your bullshit and so glad your boy McCain and his slick side kick shithead Palin didn’t win this time (after the last two stolen elections and all the damage Bush and your neocon pals have done to OUR COUNTRY). You hypocrits are so off the charts with your idiocy and anti-reality rants. GROW UP AND HELP OUT! Stop thinking just about YOU.

  • Ralph

    I rather like the idea of Anonymous running around in a tinfoil hat trying to surreptitiously get a cheek swab from Jim to crossmatch with loon DNA. Leave him alone and let him do it, Tom. Every once in a while a conspiracy theorist is right, and they’re quite often entertaining.

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