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An Army Of One Last Resort

The myth of the honor of military service just got knocked down another rung with an announcement from the U.S. Army that people no longer need to be of a healthy weight in order to gain admittance. So, now middle aged, overweight high school drop outs with criminal records are being allowed to join the Army.

Why? Well, that’s because even with unemployment numbers at a height unseen for a generation, most young, fit, bright Americans still are not so hopeless that they would consider joining the military. Even after years of progressively lower standards, people are deciding that they’d rather do just about anything than join the Army.

Still, according to reports, the Army has hopes that, as the economy gets even worse, Americans will finally have no choice but to enlist. Those people at the Pentagon sure know how to look on the bright side.

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Psst... what kind of person doesn't support pacifism?

Fight the Republican beast!