God Punishes Sodomites of Iowa With Warm Air and Sunshine
“God Cannot Be Mocked,” we were reminded yesterday after posting an April Fools Day conversion. Mock God and there will be consequences! What kind of consequences? Well, prominent John McCain endorser John Hagee proclaims weather to be an instrument of God’s judgment against gay people, except when the hurricanes miss the gay people and kill straights. Then it’s a tragedy and a mystery of faith. Hagee’s not the only one to think this way: prominent preachers Pat Robertson and Stephen Bennett make the same claims about weather and God’s righteous punishment.
You might think it odd that in the days after same-sex marriages were legalized and performed in Norway and Greece and Uruguay and Massachusetts and California, those states and nations enjoyed nice, calm, sunny, even balmy weather. Yes, you might think that odd if you lacked mental flexibility. But really, what this shows us is that warm air and sunshine are the instruments of God’s wrath!
The recent cases of weather following same-sex marriage legalization only verify God’s plan of punishment. Yesterday, when the Vermont state legislature passed a bill legalizing same-sex marriage, it was sunny and 63 degrees. How very toasty… like a sneak preview of hellfire and tarnation. And today in Iowa, as the Iowa Supreme Court declares that same-sex marriages can start in three weeks, it’s sunny and 53 degrees.
This is how God punishes the Sodomites: with the kind of weather that opens up an opportunity for frisbee. Hey, we all know what frisbee leads to.