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Go Ahead and Secede, Texas

You can tell a protest isn’t exactly a grassroots affair when the Governor is a scheduled speaker. But there Texas Governor Rick Perry was on April 15, smiling and lapping up the adulation of the Tea Party crowd that chanted “Secede! Secede! Secede!” Later on, he explained why he thought Texas’ secession from the United States was a reasonable possibility:

There’s a lot of different scenarios. We’ve got a great union. There’s absolutely no reason to dissolve it. But if Washington continues to thumb their nose at the American people, you know, who knows what might come out of that. But Texas is a very unique place, and we’re a pretty independent lot to boot.

Go ahead and Secede, Texas bumper sticker I don’t know about the boot, Governor Perry, but I think you mean “a sort-of independent lot.” The state of Texas actually receives more money in federal spending than its citizens contribute in federal taxes. Americans who live in other states keep on hearing about how we’re not supposed to mess with Texas, and what instruments we’ve gotta put in the band if we want to play in Texas, and to not let our babies grow up to be cowboys. You sent us George W. Bush… and what did you do to poor J.R.’s liver?

Watching Texas’ big, long, drawn out swagger leaves the rest of us exhausted. You know that you’re family, Texas, so if you’d like to stay in the union you’re always welcome, just like Uncle Albert, even with the way he does that thing with his thing and the other thing. But if you want to secede, go right ahead. You can keep right on strutting and posing, and we won’t have to pay attention any longer.

30 thoughts on “Go Ahead and Secede, Texas”

  1. qs says:

    I support it. Yes the dems would get much more power in the senate and congress, but hopefully this would just lead to more red states seceding.

    Leave the blue states to govern themselves.

    1. Informed says:

      Yeah then you guys can focus on the more important aspects of life like monster truck rallies and hunting. Quit talking about it and get proactive dipshit. If you write up the proposed legislation I will proofread it for you, do it!

  2. derrell ferguson says:

    I am a native texan. i love america, but if we were to secede we would do alot better. do know that over half of the u.s. armed forces are from the state of Texas. well, your military is gone. Texas has a oil reserve that would last the u.s. 15 yrs. well thats gone too. I say if we can, DO IT!!!

  3. Russ says:

    If Texas should secede from the union, I would like permission to come live in Texas. This country is finished.

  4. Lonestarlet says:

    I say we go ahead and secede. Texas has energy, technology, agriculture, military installations, world-class medical and educational institutions, and the best people in the world…am I missing anything important?

    1. Juniper says:

      Yeah. You’re the people who brought us George W. Bush. Please, leave the Union. Good riddance.

  5. Shawn Cole says:

    Yeah Juniper you along with everyone else always bring up Bush being from Texas…. too bad George W. Bush was born in Connecticut, and also went to school up north (I believe it was Connecticut also). So to me that looks like all you Yankee bastards do a great job of messing up the country! Now we have this oreo Obama, that everyone elected just to have an “african American” president , screwing up the USA even more. I’m also pretty sure we probably pay in more money then we recieve down here in Texas, most of which (the money we recieve) goes to Mexicans not Texans. The USA is ran by elected greedy businessmen now, and not the elected people who are supposed to represent us, and run this country like the people that live in it want it run. America is a business now not a country. Sad.

    1. Informed says:

      He was raised in Midland and Houston, Texas. People are products of where they are raised, not where they are born. Nice try you racist Texan , but George W is a Texan and for you to deny that is ridiculous. Also, when you complain about the state of this nation remember who has been in power of the White House, Senate, and House the last eight years, Republicans. You are judging Obama a little prematurely, give him some time and if he fails then your argument will have some bases. Until then accept that your party failed and they have been replaced through the democratic process that makes this country great. You complain a lot but ask yourself this, what are YOU doing to make this country better. Do something, quit relying on others to do it for you.

    2. American says:

      “America is a business now not a country” that statement is laughable. Hey guy, just so you know, you live in a capitalist nation that has been so for some time now. If you don’t like big business you should move to China. Sounds as if you have socialist tendencies to me and you probably do not even realize it. Typical ignorant Texan, incapable of forming your own personal convictions that make sense, so you rely on bullshit rhetoric provided by swindling, deceiving, and immoral southern conservative politicians. Both sides are full of shit, but the conservatives are much bolder with how they influence. They do this because there base is made up of completely oblivious citizens such as yourself. You have been molded into exactly the kind of voter they rely on. Read an unbiased book on occasion, you will be a better person for it.

      1. cappoo says:

        Um, “Am”, China is a capitalist country too. Has been for a while now.

  6. Informed says:

    Ignorance thrives in south, Texas in particular. Here is a list of the most illiterate cities in this country.
    1.El Paso, Texas
    2.Corpus Christi, Texas
    3.Long Beach, California
    4.Detroit, Michigan
    5.San Antonio, Texas
    Often southern pride gets in the way of good sensibility and that is a shame. I am from a blue state along the coast and if you look at the most progressive, informed, literate states in this nation you will find that they are all blue states. I think you guys have tainted water, you might want to look into that.
    Here is a list of the most illiterate states in the country.
    5.North Carolina
    9.West Virginia
    11.South Carolina
    The problem is that southerners are stupid, and they don’t even know it. Read a book once and a while, check that, learn to read, then pick up a book. Secede and your new nation would play out like the movie Idiocracy. Perhaps ignorance is bliss, but quit using that as your state motto. Secede today, please!!! While you are at it, take all those other southern states with you. No one up north will miss you! Texas is what’s wrong with America and you would be doing everyone a favor with secession.

  7. please go says:

    Here are some more fun Texas stats
    Percentage of Uninsured Children

    Income Inequality Between the Rich and the Poor

    Percentage of Population without Health Insurance

    Scholastic Assessment Test (SAT) Scores

    Percentage of Population over 25 with a High School Diploma

    Percentage of Non-Elderly Women with Health Insurance

    Rate of Women Aged 40+ Who Receive Mammograms

    Rate of Women Aged 18+ Who Receive Pap Smears

    Cervical Cancer Rate

    Women’s Voter Registration

    Women’s Voter Turnout

    Percentage of Eligible Voters that Vote

  8. brian says:

    WOW! Talk about throwing stones! To the good people who are throwing rocks at my home state, please keep checking your facts and statistics, then keep checking and keep digging. If you know your geography, the cities you mentioned are in areas with extremely high Hispanic populations and close proximity of mexico, making it easy for illegal aliens (NOT immigrants—-ask a naturalized citizen the difference….they will be happy to inform you!) to operate under the radar. Being citizens of the United States (which was never formally ratified into the Union BY Texicans) we must adhere to the weakened immigration laws of this great country, thus lowering the educational achievements of all our students in the public school systems of the cities cited. I am a Texan first, my ancestors having fought in the Texas war of Independence, in the civil war (both sides, brother against brother), WWI and II, korea, vietnam and myself in Iraq. I am a U.S. citizen second. This does not mean that i wouldnt hesitate to lay down my life for this country if so called , personnally have heard the whine of bullets overhead and as a child picked shrapnel out of my fathers back when it worked its way to the surface from wounds sustained in Viet Nam. I have traveled the world over and have met people from countries so dieverse and different than our own and yet have no problem calling them “brother”. Butwhat i hear today sickens me. Those that would disparage my home state….please silence your rhetoric and come visit. You will meet people as diverse and interesting as those in YOUR own states, that includes the educated and the ignorant (dont forget the major universities in Texas, (Baylor, Texas A&M, UT, TCU, SMU, Rice, Texas Tech). Before you throw those stones, look at your own house…who put the roof on, who cuts your lawn, washes the dishes at your favorite restaurant. Go down and talk to one of the nurses at the ER….ask her who the majority of the uninsured are: HINT- illegal and/or welfare? Just a guess. I dont live in texas anymore…I moved when i took the profession i have now. I am Loyal to these Unites States. However, once those stones are thrown, they cant be taken back, and if Texas ever did secede from this Grand Experiment we call the United States, then prepare for the exodus from Your state of the expats who will return. And if you ever do take a trip to Texas, go to San Antonio, it is a beautiful city. Stroll the river walk, eat at the restaurants and enjoy the food (tis fantastic!), then walk on over to Alamo Plaza. Ease your way inside where you can hear a pic drop on the stone floor. The only other place in the world that makes me share those feelings are Dauchau and the site of the crucifixion in Jerusalem (Yes, I have been to both). Notice the line of flags that line the walls inside the shrine. They represent the people from those states who rallied to a call of self government and independence and gave their all in a knowingly lost battle just to buy a few precious hours and days for their fellow texans. And if you have read this far, remember the feeling you get when you stand on that hallowed ground. At that point, pick up your rock and throw it as far and as hard as you like. See if you have the same courage of those on whose hallowed tomb you stand and tell me if you get the same feeling from ANY site that you have in your own state. Good Luck…”REMEMBER THE ALAMO” “REMEMBER GOLIAD” “COME AND TAKE IT”

  9. jennifer says:

    Well said Brian

  10. Statistics says:

    Statistics provided only account for those whom are legal citizens of this country, no illegals. Also the state that I live in has a huge Latino population and simply put, we are not as dumb. Remember your ancestors were also immigrants who, in all likelihood, were just as ignorant as those who come here today. My friend I did not throw the first stone I was simply trying to help out the uninformed, misinformed, and those who would put the state of Texas on a pedestal. I understand the sense of pride you have for your home state, indoctrination can be a useful way to herd the masses and I do not mean that as an insult. Many in this nation are molded by those who would love to maintain the status quo across the board, but historically the most significant positive changes we have made in this nation have consistently been made by those who would go against the grain. My beef comes from the idea that Texans feel that they deserve special recognition for events that occurred in the past. Don’t get me wrong, honor those (as I honor my Great grandfather who perished in The Great War and my grandfather who perished in WWII) who have done great deeds for your state and this nation in the past, but live in the now. Change can be a scary concept but it is the main component for bettering a nation. ALWAYS,ALWAYS remember the military propagandizes those under it’s thumb and I hate to say it so bluntly but the war in Iraq will historically be remembered right along side Vietnam, a tremendous blunder. I have the utmost respect for those who fight for our nation, but the profiteering leaders instructing our military can suck my wank.

    1. statistics are laughable says:

      95% of statistics are statistically inaccurate by the way judging one particular person such as george w with an entire state is like the rest of the world judging our nation by the president, I mean shoot if you really had a problem with george w you could have prevented a 2nd term election. thanks to all of you guys up north playing right into the role of profiling everyone and playing upon your own prejudices of the southern states while condemning anyone else who says the same about you crazy lets spread the wealth but oh we are a capitalist society mentality. hypocrites

  11. Stephen Wrecker says:

    I have a song written specifically about this topic.

    Go Ahead And Secede

    I don’t think anyone should secede… but we need to control ourselves. The president has only been in office for 6 months and we need to wait to see if things turn out for the better.

  12. American says:

    Brian you are living in a Texan’s idealistic wonderland that only recognizes the glorified greatness of Texas, while dismissing and rejecting any criticism of your high and mighty state. The notion that your expats would return if secession makes many of us outside your divine state salivate at the very idea. Take them all back because they are infecting the rest of this country in the mean time. Get off your high horse and open your eyes to the realities of present day USA, we are all in this together whether you like it or not. Lead, follow, or get out of the way fruitloop….

    1. statistics are laughable says:

      every state has problems texas included but I do believe our government has gone too far in its interference with that states. you might as well throw out the 10th amendment. at this point we either need a really good rebellion and strong militia or a complete restructuring of the government. if need be whatever state wants to secede whether it be texas, california, washington, or anyone on the northeast go for it.

    2. shannon says:

      every state has problems texas included but I do believe our government has gone too far in its interference with that states. you might as well throw out the 10th amendment. at this point we either need a really good rebellion and strong militia or a complete restructuring of the government. if need be whatever state wants to secede whether it be texas, california, washington, or anyone on the northeast go for it.

  13. Kevin says:

    Only good thing to come out of Tex-ass was Sandy the Squirrel on SpongBob..

    bunch of loons and bigots live in that state.

    It would be great if all Texans were kicked out of the Army, and especially the Air Force. send em all back.

  14. John says:

    yeah, i really enjoy the bashing from both sides, I’m from Georgia, and I’ll bet $100 after I post this, someone is going to say something about the people in Dhelonega, or Rabun Gap representing the entire state’s population, but here goes… I have suffered both under the Bush admin. and the Obama admin., My highschool, Lassiter H.S. in Marietta, GA district 6, was rankend in the top 20 precentile on the scores of SAT’s and ACT’s as well as the H.S. Grad. test the year prior to the enactment of the no child left behind act. After one year, the No child left behind act, had the school district of Cobb county (the 6th rep. district which is the east quarter of Cobb) busing H.S. kids from parts of West Cobb, and Fulton county (the County most of Atlanta is in.) the percentile of standardized test scores went from the to 20th to roughly the bottom 60th percentile, and ironically, Lassiter H.S., went from roughly about 86-87% Caucasian/non-hispanic and about 10-11% Black student make-up to about 70% caucasian/non-hispanic and 27-28% black. Numbers don’t lie, look it up.

    now, i have an associate’s degree in Criminal Justice from Georgia Military College, and a bachelor’s degree in Criminology with a minor in Sociology from Georgia Southern University, and the infamous president Barrack Hussein Obama, which i am still not entirely convinced that he was born a citizen of the U.S., (a story for another time.) Has yet to deliver on his promise, and has seemingly dumped us into an even more hopeless debt. I can’t get a job, after i was layed-off when the economy had plunged bad, I can’t get any sort of job, nor have i received a bailout. the CARS program has failed due to the fact that Obama’s regime can’t cut the checks. How bad is it, that he promises hope and his retarded slogan of “yes we can!” being chanted outside of my apartment window by a large group of black students whom proceeded to break all of the glass in my roomate’s truck, and flip it, because they knew he was white, and we both had voted for John McCain and Sarah Pailin.

    Barrack Obama, has seemingly CREATED a new wave of rascism. Its a reverse of the 1950’s and 1960’s, except now, the black population walks around with a undeserved sense of accomplishment and elite-ness. Someone is gonig to say something about this being “payback” for Jim Crow, but everyone knows that that was a different time, and the people whom originally enacted those laws are now mostly dead. So that is not a factor. I was born in 1984, a full 20 years after “seperate but equal” was struck, so no one jump on that bandwagon because I know its comming. and btw, actually read the emacipation proclomation sometime. You’ll be surprised when you read the part about what states the slaves were freed in. ***HINT*** JUST THE STATES IN REBELLION!!! if you had a house slave in New York or Missouri or Masssachusetts you kept them right up until the passing of ther 13th amendment. go ahead, read it, I DARE YOU.

    1. Truman says:

      John, slavery was abolished in New York State in 1827. When you say “rebellion”, were you talking about the rebellion of 1776?

      Step back, calm down, and look at the facts before you write next time.

      Here’s a place you can start to learn about the history of slavery in New York State:

    2. jackson5 says:

      It is a capitalist economy with an authoritarian gov’t that has the ability to regulate and restrict in any way they see fit. “China doesn’t have freedom of speech or freedom of the press. It doesn’t tolerate dissent. Authorities can arrest and imprison people who threaten stability, as the party defines it. Any group that dares to protest is treated brutally. There are no civil liberties, no labor unions, no centers of political power outside the communist party.” -Robert B. Reich

    3. jackson5 says:

      So you would blame Barrack for all of your hardships then? We are in the midst of the deepest
      recession this nation has seen for some time now. The events that led to this economic downfall took time to unfold, and it will also take time for our economy to be corrected. I am sorry for your current unemployment status for I was also laid off for a period of months.
      I didn’t blame Bush, I did however blame the system that allowed for it to happen in the first place. Barrack has been thrown into a major sh**storm and he is taking incremental steps to remedy this horrific situation. Give it time.

      1. Jennie says:

        I have no problem with Obama as a person, do I think we are going backwards? No. I do think that there is too much government involved and interfering with our lives and a lot of it is our fault. We allowed it to get this far, trading a little bit of our freedoms as a state for security and funding from the government. But we have come to the point of destroying the 10th amenedment by relying too heavily upon the federal government rather than those of your own particular state. Maybe each state or region should secede and become its own territory. Not to mention the northeast considers themselves New Englanders still to date rather than just American. I mean they have a football team a lone the New England Patriots…..I don’t think I need to delve any further into that.

  15. Rick Masey says:

    I am trying to find people who believe Texas should give up on the remainder of the U.S.A. If it means envoking the vow every veteran, active duty military, police officer, Ranger, Game Warden, and yes, politician took to protect the Constuition against all enemies both foreign & DOMESTIC!
    It is time to stop talking & start acting. We need to rid our state of all foreign people unless they qualify to leagly live in this great Stste Of Texas. We can stand alone in the as a power. We have more than enough to sustain ourselves as a country.
    If we really look at the folks who are agaimst sucession they are not Texans. They do not fear and respect God. They must be sent away. If you dissagree you aren’t from here, leave as quickly as possible. If you do agree, this is a call to arms!

  16. Florida says:

    Texas.. If you seceede Florida will follow!!!!

  17. Texas says:

    lol Texas pays more than we ask in Federal Taxes, We would have 13th largest Economy if we seceded lmao Democrats and Texas haters

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