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Sure, You Can Ban My Marriage, If…

Humphrey invited Madeleine to the ball to make his mother happy, but still, he didn’t feel right about it. It all felt like a tremendous lie, to Madeleine, to his mother, but most of all, to himself.

When Humphrey began to dance the quadrille with Madeleine, he was shocked and excited to find that Maurice had joined in with a partner of his own. It had been years since those long days in the Sahara with Maurice, but the experiences they had shared there came back to him in a flash.

Unexpectedly, Humphrey heard himself saying to Madeleine, “I am going to marry that man.”

Madeleine was quite upset. This was not how she had planned for the evening to progress. “Humphrey,” she said, “you are a fool. It’s against the law for you to marry another man!”

Humphrey responded calmly, “My dear, I will make you a deal. You can ban my marriage if I can ban yours.”

you can ban my marriage tshirt

21 thoughts on “Sure, You Can Ban My Marriage, If…”

  1. Anonymous says:

    Walter was sitting under a park bench when he looked up into the most beautiful eyes he had ever seen. He looked to the man to his left and said “See that rabbit? Im going to marry that rabbit…”

  2. F.G. Fitzer says:

    Pardon, anonymous, but has anyone ever seriously proposed marrying a rabbit? No. We’re talking about human relations, here, and pigs like you used the same argument to agitate against allowing people of different ethnic backgrounds to marry.

  3. Anonymous says:

    O, so your marrige is better then mine? Who do you think are to tell me who or what I cant marry? If I love the rabbit and it loves me then dont be so closed minded you let your beliefs affect my happiness. Dont you know the consitution? There is nothing against it in there

    1. Jim says:

      Well, it does say “We the People,” not “We the People and Rabbits.”

  4. Anonymous says:

    Thats the declaration of independence sir… That is a great doculent but by no means is it law.

    But if we travel that rode… “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator (wierd how that part got there…) with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness”

    I want a “life” with the rabbit.

    I want the liberty to love who or what I chose

    I want the pursuit of what makes me happy

    1. Jim says:

      No, it is the preamble to the Constitution.

      Have you looked up the Rabbit Constitution? Look it up and then we can have a conversation!

  5. Anonymous says:

    Are they different people that wrote this? I always thought it was the same we the people… If its the premble to both I think my rabbit friend and I are fine. Stop being so closed minded…

  6. Jim says:

    You clearly haven’t read the Rabbit Constitution, then, because you’d know if you had! Open minded people read the Rabbit Constitution. THE WHOLE THING!!!

  7. Anonymous says:

    What does the Rabbit Constitution have to do with anything, you are trying to diviate from the argument by laying down lame jokes. If you want to argue people only fine

    I want to marry a 6 year old. Look all people, should be good right?

  8. Jim says:

    You’ll never know what the Rabbit Constitution has to do with anything until you READ IT!!!

    You claim I joke, but I am very serious. You, in the meantime, really want to marry a rabbit. Thanks for clarifying that you intend to marry a 6 year old rabbit. I would have been concerned if you had shown a desire to marry a juvenile bunny.

  9. Anonymous says:

    Heres some stuff I just ran across…

    You Should Be Able To Marry Animals .
    30% say yes 70% say no…

    If you have strong evidence that the animal also wants it then yes, otherwise it’s forcing a marriage which I am against.

    Hex yes dude
    animals are awesome and sometimes people get along with them better than actual humans
    totally for it

    What is it with people trying to control other people’s lives?

    If someone wants to marry an animal and the animal doesn’t have a problem with it, then there shouldn’t be a problem.

    People should to do what ever they want to do including marrying animals

    I know its weird but I mean if you really love it you should be able to. Wow I can’t believe I just said that. Haha. But seriously man is a form of animal so animals are basically our kind. If its not legal i think its because people just think its weird, I mean, come on..marrying an animal?

    There are people for it… Just not you so it must be bad…

    Here it actually happened…
    Naturally, it has its name – zoophilia. Men and women had sex with animals throughout the whole history of mankind. There are writings that evidence sex of people with goats, sheep, dogs, horses and other mammals. But the stories of their weddings are few. Such a story happened in a Sudanese city Hai Malakal in February of 2006. Mr. Tombe was caught by Mr. Alifi having sex with his goat Rose. The perpetrator was thus ordered to pay a $50 ransom and marry the goat. Mr. Tombe did not bring himself to contradict his future relatives and married the goat.

    Heres more

    Human-animal marriage, i.e., marriage between humans and non-human animals, is not recognized in law by any country at present, although historically people have married animals as part of religious traditions or to bring good luck, often involving elaborate ceremonies. Such marriages as are allowed by tradition

    heres more

    41 year old woman married a dolphin in Eliat,(Israel) and a woman married her snake! It is well known that people often have sex with animals too such as dogs, sheep, horses, chickens

    So it is out there (just a side note)

  10. Anonymous says:

    I am very lame and seem to be able to not bring any new information to the debate to key in my other half of the arument. Instead I will make dumb jokes in hope that the other person leaves and I never have to say anything of value. I dont know why I feel this is right but I do so the country should bow to my wants without me even having to explain why or to answer any possible negitives…

  11. Anonymous says:

    are you preparing for an actual argument? If you prove your right I would have to change sides. Asking about a rabbit constitution gets us nowhere

  12. LOL says:

    He changed it… That must mean he is finaly bringing a real argument…

  13. Jim says:

    But pretending that you want to marry a rabbit, on the other hand, is a wholly sincere act. You’re right. I just can’t handle the big, quivering mass of your turgid sincerity.

  14. qs says:

    We need to get the government out of marriage.

  15. Anonymous says:

    Is it not the same argument? You think that your love, which Im sure is genuine, makes something right. So right in fact that everyone is wrong and should shut up. So right that people are working to make it a hate crime simply to speak that they think otherwise. The race thing is absolutly ridiculous. Skin color and life choice, it is a choice, are not the same thing. qs, your answer to almost everything is keep the government out. What role do you think government should play? If we take government out of marrige then the rabbit thing is no longer a joke, the child thing is no longer a joke. Heck, at that point people can marry dead bodies and its ok because the government would have no place in marrige

  16. Anonymous says:

    Heres two questions…

    Should gay marrige be taught as ok in public schools by people from the gay society?


    Should a paster be allowed to come into a public school and teach about Jesus Christ?

  17. Jim says:

    The first sincere words out of your fingertips on this subject, and they’re full of false assumptions. First, you assume that I’m gay. Second, you assume that there is hate crime legislation out there to throw people in jail if they “simply speak” opposition to gay marriage. Third, you assume that there is no parallel between the arguments made against same-sex marriage and the arguments made against interracial marriage.

    Get a grip on the facts before you try to make an argument, and don’t be surprised if your claim to want to marry a rabbit engenders parallel insincerity.

  18. Anonymous says:

    you and your can be used for more then a single individual for one. it can be used generically to treat the people who would be subjects in the next statement. i dont really care whos gay. second, isnt anything yet but there is also no legeslation to ban drugs being placed in water supplies but it will be here real soon… there is a parallel, people dont want this and people didnt want that. the people who didnt want interracial marrige didnt want it because it was a race issue. people who were born black were bad simply because of birth. gay people make a choice to live outside of whats allowed and then try to make people change because of their choice… not the same thing

  19. Anonymous says:

    Using mutually exclusive arguments in succession just breaks the argument down to this pointless arguing of semantics. How about I distract this argument further. On the side of opposition to gay marriage there is an inherent fear of harm, perceived or real. Fear that homosexuals marrying and becoming mainstream as people and their perceived legitimacy in turn altering the nature of society. The same was said of women and ‘negroes’ becoming citizens with the same rights as anyone else (the parallel is hard to ignore). It is true in those cases that many changes did follow. Many of which we now take for granted but given contrast- we would undoubtedly prefer to the antiquated prejudices of the past. I never did understand that desire for stability and static. Life is far to boring and predictable on the whole to not invite change. All this old air is probably what is getting everyone hot around the collar.
    There are many things I don’t like that you do. Yet so long as you keep your hands to yourself I typically see no need to impose my morality, or wants on you. Why do you(<in general) feel the need to impose yours on others.

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