Thank golly that Apple is monitoring the applications people develop for the iPhone. They seem to have diverted cosmic catastrophe through their vigilance against blasphemy in iPhone apps.
Some infidel code warrior out there created an iPhone app called Me So Holy, a little program which allowed people to superimpose pictures of their own faces on a picture of Jesus. It was kind of silly, but it actually had a kind of religious point – that people could see the divine as created in the image of humanity, rather than regarding humanity as created in the image of divinity.
Apple Computer, it seems, couldn’t tolerate this kind of theological experimentation. Regarding itself as the enemy of all blasphemy, Apple banned the Me So Holy app from the iPhone, saying that the app had to go because it might be offensive to some people.
Apple Computer is being rather selective about what it deems to be offensive, however. It seems that while heretical religious ideas get banned by Apple, orthodox religious apps are allowed by Apple to persist, though surely the religious ideas in those apps are also offensive to some people. What’s the Apple standard – that it’s okay to offend, just so long as you have a big church backing you up?
For that matter, there’s a huge amount of violence in iPhone apps. In the Castle Wolfenstein app, players run around murdering people, shooting them with a pistol, watching the virtual blood splatter. The Top Gun game tells me that I have four “kills needed” before I can win.
How about the iPhone app iSniper Lite? It’s a game in which you practice to be a sniper, sitting hidden with a rifle while you shoot people in the head, picking them off one by one. Oh, but it’s okay, I guess, because the Sniper is Lite. You know, like Murder Lite.
What kind of sickos are on Apple Computer’s censorship board, who think that murder games are fine and dandy, but putting your own face on an image of Jesus is so morally reprehensible that it must not be permitted? Don’t misunderstand me – I’m not calling for the censorship of the killing games. I’m calling for Apple Computer to stop the censorship – period. If Apple is going to make a little computer phone for people to use, then it needs to allow people to actually use the devices, and not be a corporate nanny listening in on every word to make sure that it complies with the moral codes of the pious and powerful.
I have never been so glad that I have refrained from buying an iPhone. I just talked to Jesus, and he says that he’s not going to buy an iPhone either.