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In the Bondage of Dyslexia

I was moving quickly through the checkout lane at my local food co-op, eager to take my non-fat, low sugar, vegan, cruelty-free, fair trade, ayurpedic, raw, unbleached, biodegradable toothpicks I had picked up and get them out of the 100 percent recycled package so that I could get a piece of a Big Mac out from behind my wisdom tooth.

On the rack, near the rainforest chocolate, I saw with my peripheral vision a package, and it read either Organic Dog Salve or Organic Dog Slave. I didn’t have time to check to be sure which it was.

I have searched online since, and found the web site of company called Merry Hempsters. Apparently, they do sell organic dog salves, but I can’t help thinking that if I were a hampster, I sure would love to have a tube of salve that could make a dog my slave.

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Psst... what kind of person doesn't support pacifism?

Fight the Republican beast!