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Sarah Palin Finally Explains Her Absolutely Bonkers Reason for Quitting as Governor of Alaska

In her farewell speech on Sunday, former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin finally explained to the world why she resigned:

We are here today at a “changing of the guard.” Now, knowing how much I love this state – some still choose not to hear why I made the decision to chart a new course to advance the state. It should be obvious. It is because I love Alaska this much that I feel it is my duty to avoid the unproductive, typical “politics-as-usual” lame duck session in one’s last year in office. How does that benefit you? With this decision I will be able to fight even harder for you – for what is right and for the truth. And I have never felt that you need a title to do that.

For the tenth time this month, Sarah Palin has declared that “I have never felt that you need a title.” So why, if she never needed a title, did she run for Mayor of Wasilla, Governor of Alaska and Vice President of the United States?

That “don’t need a title” assertion is old hat. What’s new is the assertion by Palin that she has stepped down as Governor of Alaska because she loves Alaska. If she’d stopped there, I would have agreed with her, and so would many Alaskans. Resigning was a loving act to a state tired of the sideshow. But Palin continued: yes, she loves Alaska so much that she feels it her duty “to avoid the unproductive, typical ‘politics-as-usual’ lame duck session in one’s last year in office.”

I guess this means that if Sarah Palin is elected President in 2012, she’ll serve out three years of her first term and then quit for the benefit of all America.

Hey, who’s that fella taking over as Governor Alaska? Oh, right: Sean Parnell. This, his first year in office, is also his what? Oh, right: his last year in office, unless he chooses to run for another term, a choice Sarah Palin also had as Governor.

When Sarah Palin resigned, she didn’t change the structural situation Alaskans faced: the last year of a Governor’s term. The only change Palin made by stepping down was to ensure that she wouldn’t have to be the one to deal with it.

You know, I never needed a title to figure out that Sarah Palin is bonkers.

8 thoughts on “Sarah Palin Finally Explains Her Absolutely Bonkers Reason for Quitting as Governor of Alaska”

  1. Steve says:

    What exactlyis your beef with Sarah Palin?

    She is the most charismatic political speaker in the Nation if not the World since Ronald Regan. Part of her charm is she is able to lay out in plain terms what makes sense to most people. What exactly do you fault in her that does not to you seem to exist in other political figures?

    1. Jim says:

      Who says I don’t find fault in other political figures? I find fault in Ronald Reagan, and Donald Regan, and loads of others.

      If Sarah Palin makes sense to you, that’s really interesting. Tell me how Sarah Palin’s explanation for her behavior here makes sense.

    2. HareTrinity says:

      You’re the only person I know who’s ever called her charismatic. Obama’s charismatic, that’s why everyone everywhere likes him. Palin’s a scary nutter who the only thing I’ve heard good about is her “MILF” appeal.

      I may be over in the UK, but I’m sure her voice travels just fine online and on TV. She’s got that fake smile and creepy vacant stare, plus she talks nonsense. That’s not “plain terms” that’s rushed statements. And her attitude’s a little patronising.

      1. HareTrinity says:

        ^Make that “…Scary nutter of whom the only thing I’ve heard good about…”
        Pardon my bad grammar.

  2. Tom says:

    Steve, like many Palin supporters, hears what he wants to hear (though her dialogue so vague and disjointed as to be senseless rambling to the rest of us).

  3. qs says:

    Fred Barnes called her whiny today.

    The GOP doesn’t have any good candidates right now.

  4. Kevin says:


    they don’t call it “word salad” for nothing…

    Palin has a very odd cadence to her words as she speaks. On paper, the mishmash of sentance fragments makes no sense.. spoken, they have a odd backbeat, and, also. stress placed on words at stray parts of the sentance, without, seemingly, intention.

  5. Tom Degan says:

    Perfect! A tip of the hat is in order for poor old Dan Quayle. Prior to Governor Palin’s nomination as vice-presidential candidate ten months ago, he was generally regarded as the very worst choice of a running mate in living memory. All that has changed. Compared to Sarah, Danny boy is starting to look like Albert Einstein.

    E=M.C. Hammer.

    I guess the time has come for all of us breathe a collective sigh of relief. But for the mysterious workings of fate, President McCain would at this minute be snoozing away in the White House and this idiotic woman would be a seventy-three-year-old heartbeat away from the Oval Office. Regardless of one’s political viewpoint or party affiliation, it must be admitted that we really dodged a bullet with the defeat of the McCain/Unable ticket last November. Had these two been inaugurated on January 20, the law of averages virtually guaranteed that at some point between the years 2009 and 2013 this country would have been stuck with President Gidget von Braun.

    In his column a couple of weeks ago in the Washington Post, Richard Cohen suggested that John McCain’s judgement should be put into question for making such an abysmal choice when he chose Governor Palin. Much as I admire Cohen as a writer, his assessment isn’t quite fair. McCain’s first two choices were former Pennsylvania governor Tom Ridge or that doofus Joe Lieberman. It was the Right Wing extremists who control the Republican party that forced Sarah Palin down his throat.

    Instead of focusing a glare of condemnation toward John McCain, the real target of our collective wrath should be aimed at the “grand old party” itself. Think about that for a minute: So far down the ideological deep end has that party fallen, the prospect of a probable Sarah Palin presidency seemed to most of them a perfectly fine and dandy idea. A new Gallup poll has just been released: Seventy-one percent of registered Republicans would be “likely” to vote for her if she runs in 2012. Medications, please.

    What, you may well ask, is her motivation for committing political suicide by abandoning the office that the people of Alaska entrusted to her care two years ago? When NBC’s Andrea Mitchell suggested to her that after ten months in the national limelight, the comparative drudgery of her duties as governor might have started to seem boring, Sarah Palin responded in words that should be etched in granite at the base of Mount Rushmore:

    “The nitty-gritty, like, you mean the fish slime and the dirt under the fingernails and stuff that’s me?”

    Brilliant. Someone hand me my chisel.

    Why did she resign? She says that as a lame duck governor she won’t be as effective as she would like to be. The fact that she expects the voters of Alaska to swallow this nonsense without a chaser shows the utter contempt she must feel toward the people she was sworn to serve.

    Does she really believe that she has a shot at the nomination three years from now? The answer (unbelievably) is yes. Tom DeFrank of the New York Daily News put it well: The woman has “delusions of adequacy”. The pundits (most of them anyway) are starting to compare her rambling “farewell press conference” to Dick Nixon’s infamous tirade when he lost the California governor’s race in 1962 (”You won’t have Nixon to kick around anymore”). Some are even daring to suggest that, like Tricky Dick, she will ultimately be victorious. The only problem with that scenario is the fact that there are slightly over one-hundred things that separate Sarah Palin from Richard Milhaus Nixon: I.Q. points.

    What else were her motivations for quitting? Money. She knows damned well that there is a nice chunk of change to be made in the lower forty-eight and that getting from there to here is an expensive and time-consuming process that infringes upon her gubernatorial responsibilities. Were you aware that the distance between Fairbanks and Washington is almost as great as the distance between Washington and London? What to do? To hell with her constituents and head off to the land of the golden goose.

    When asked what her future plans were, she said that she will continue to work overtime for the people of Alaska. I’m willing to bet anyone that in the next twelve months, most – if not all of her time – will be spent in New York and Washington. Any takers?

    The next three years will find her cashing in on her status as a….uhh….well, whatever her status just might be. Count on her making a national speaking tour for at least one-hundred thousand dollars a pop. A radio talk show? Probably. A gig on FOX Noise? That’s almost inevitable. There is a fortune to be made here and she’s not about to let something as trivial as her oath of office prevent her from making it.

    Does she really have a shot at the nomination in three years? I sure hope so. That would be too good to be true.


    You go, girl!

    Tom Degan
    Goshen, NY

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