News update from Christianity In Politics Today: Christianity is against homosexuality, without equivocation! The Christian voice in America demands the exclusion of homosexuals from civil liberties enjoyed by everyone else, because Christian churches believe that Christianity is a sin, sin, evil sin, sin, wicked, sin!
Well, except for the Episcopals, who ordain homosexual clergy. Lutherans… and the Lutherans, who have now joined the Episcopal Church in doing so.
But, they don’t count as Christians, right? I mean, everyone knows that Episcopals and Lutherans are wacked out, crazy, radicals who never could claim to represent any significant portion of American Christians, um, except for the many Christians in their churches… and the other Christian churches that recognize the worth of their homosexual members and leadership…
…’cause America is a Christian nation, right? Now, if we can just figure out which version of Christianity it is, then we’ll be able to mint that new national motto on our coins: In Bashing Gays We Desperately Lash Out.
Hold on… anyone got a toothpick? I can’t seem to get my tongue out of my cheek.