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H1N1 Swine Flu Cure: The Drill Treatment

This week, Irregular Times will be publishing a series of articles examining the latest treatments promoted as cures for the H1N1 swine flu virus. Some are scams. Some work. How can people tell the difference? We aim to help.

h1n1 swine flu cure drillNever mind that the H1N1 flu virus has so far been only about as deadly as the flu that shows up every year. Remember that infectious disease experts warn that it could mutate to become more deadly – just as giraffes might eventually mutate fangs and an appetite for human blood. It’s true that no especially deadly H1N1 virus mutations have taken place yet, but they could, and so you’d better be on your guard now.

That’s why people are increasingly turning to the H1N1 drill treatment in order to deal with swine flu. In test groups, when the H1N1 drill was used in response to the earliest symptoms, all further flu symptoms were prevented. Test subjects who had full blown H1N1 swine flu that were treated with the H1N1 drill experienced almost instantaneous cessation of symptoms. Members of the control group, on the other hand, took between 3 and 7 days to recover from the flu.

People using the H1N1 drill may feel some pressure at the beginning of treatment. Side effects can include leakage of brains, popping of eyeballs out of the head, difficult to clean stains on the wall, and premature death.

2 thoughts on “H1N1 Swine Flu Cure: The Drill Treatment”

  1. Sean says:

    China is to become the first country in the world to start a mass swine flu vaccination programme but would you have a swine flu vaccine if offered?

    1. F.G. Fitzer says:

      Would you take the drill to the skull if offered, Sean? I’ve got one right here.

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