Revelation: The DNC Certified Obama as Qualified. It's a Scandal!
OK, folks, are you ready for the latest Barack Obama conspiracy theory? Take a deep breath and hold onto your seats, because here it is:
Back in 2008, the Democratic National Committee made the following declaration, with notarized signatures and everything:
Aha! You see? This is the nail in the coffin! This document clearly shows that…
… that the DNC and Democratic Party leaders declared that Barack Obama was nominated and is constitutionally eligible to be President?
NOOOOOOO, reply the Barack Obama conspiracy theorists! That’s not what it means at all! We just don’t understand!! By declaring in signed and notarized affirmations that Barack Obama IS constitutionally eligible to be President, the Democrats have fully demonstrated that Barack Obama IS NOT constitutionally eligible to be President!!! Really!!!!! No, really really!!!!!!!!!
You want to know why? Oh, this is the real cherry on top. It’s delicious. Ready? Take a deep breath. Here’s their reason:
You see, on the same day that the DNC signed and notarized an affirmation that Barack Obama was nominated as their candidate AND is constitutionally eligible for the office of President, the DNC also signed and notarized another document in addition, an affirmation that Barack Obama was nominated as their candidate:
You SEE? You SEE? This conclusively demonstrates a conspiracy to hide Barack Obama’s Kenyan origins! BWAHahahahahahahahaha! Hahahahaha! Ha ha…
… what? You don’t see how two affirmations, signed and notarized, demonstrate any kind of conspiracy of any sort about anything?
Well, did you put on the goggles before you looked at the document? You know, the goggles? The special goggles? You know, the ones the Illuminati sent you in the MAIL! Put them on and look again:
You see? Once you put the goggles on, everything becomes clear!