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Top 10 Signs Your Friend is a Communist

If our top generals and television anchors only paid attention to the bumper stickers and buttons of the world, why, our nation wouldn’t be in such grave peril from the waves of Red Menace lapping at our shores. You think I jest? Open your window and lean your head outside. Can’t you hear the lapping, quiet but insistent? Lap, lap, lap. Let us tap into their wisdom to discover the…

Top Ten Signs Your Friend is a Communist

10. Your friend is popular. Stalin was popular, and Stalin was a communist. Aha!

Stalin was popular too bumper sticker

9. Your friend recycles. Is pinko glass #3 or #5? I can never remember.

Green is the New Red bumper sticker connecting Recycling to Communism

8. Your friend is a community organizer. Clipboard? Commie. Wait, doesn’t the John Birch Society do canvassing? Shocking!

Stalin was a community organizer bumper sticker

7. Your friend supports freedom of speech. Typical repressive ideology.

The ACLU is a Satanist Communist Tool Bumper Sticker

6. Your friend stops broadcasting Friends and Seinfeld. Media rationing, bread lines, no soup for you!

NBC Now Blatantly Communist Button

5. Your friend is a deposed aristocrat who wears green and steals money to ransom a king.

Robin Hood was a Communist bumper sticker

4. Your friend wishes he had a major-league baseball team in his neighborhood.

People's Republic of Brooklyn Button

3. Your friend sits on the board of directors of Wal-Mart. There’s nothing redder than plastic bowls made in sweatshops.

This bumper sticker calls Hillary Rodham Clinton a Communist

2. Your friend is a billionaire hedge fund manager. Some of our needs are a whole lot higher than others.

George Soros is a Communist Bumper Sticker

1. Your friend uses open-source software. What’s next? Lending libraries?

Tux the Communist Linux Penguin

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