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Sarah Palin Caught Copying Jimmy Carter Speech

It’s shocking but true. In both politicians’ speeches, regular episodes of inhaling are almost invariably alternated with exhalation. While Sarah Palin and Jimmy Carter can both lay some nominal claim to the pattern, it is Jimmy Carter who engaged in the practice first. Former Governor Palin has yet to respond to these new charges of plagiarism, although in a perhaps-sarcastic reference she has pointedly looked at the camera in recent television appearances while inhaling, exhaling, then inhaling again.

In other news, the National Security Agency and Federal Bureau of Investigation are far along in their development of the “Einstein 3” system, which in order to assure the security of U.S. Government websites will be engaging in regular surveillance of activity on non-governmental websites. The goal: find in advance lurking hacker cyberterrorists in their natural environment, on private servers, before they reach the government. Also on private servers: you and me.

But enough of that. Look! Sarah Palin is inhaling again! In jogging shorts!

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Psst... what kind of person doesn't support pacifism?

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