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Can You Tell Which Iron Has Jesus On It?

People have been shocked that we at Irregular Times are daring to question whether the Virgin Mary has appeared in an old tree stump. These readers take offense at our critical examination of religious beliefs, as if it’s an insult to openly dispute anyone else’s religious claims.

As for myself, I think that it’s a great deal better to have a little laugh at a religion’s expense than to engage in the kinds of abusive acts that the mocked religion promotes. We ought not to forget that Catholicism, home to a huge variety of smudgy visions of Virgins and Messiahs, has been spending itself into bankruptcy in order to ensure the denial of the constitutional rights of American citizens. The Catholic Church has also been caught helping its priests to sexually molest children in countries all over the world, and in the most recent discovery found to have taken out insurance policies to protect itself from lawsuits by children attacked by its priests.

A woman in Massachusetts named Mary Jo Coady had left this abusive religious organization, but now has been convinced to return – by a picture she says is on the bottom of her clothes iron. She says that the picture is an apparition of Jesus, and that the smudge has convinced her to attend Catholic religious services again.

Will I dare to question her faith? When this woman is giving money to a church that spends the money on covering up the abuse of children, and on campaigns to deny people their constitutional rights, you bet I will.

So, let’s have a pop quiz. One of these three irons is the one owned by Mary Jo Coady, and is supposed to have an image of Jesus on it. Can you, without searching around on the Internet to find the story about Coady’s iron, tell which iron is her famous Jesus iron?

jesus apparition clothes iron

mary jo coady jesus iron

catholic jesus iron vision

16 comments to Can You Tell Which Iron Has Jesus On It?

  • Tom

    All of them, ’cause Jesus is God and God is everywhere! (Catechism answer combined with the transitive property)

  • ramone

    you didn’t mention when this took place and unless this is an antique story, number one iron is too old and odd looking to be the one. wait… maybe mary jo lives in a third world country that only has antique irons. this is a tough one.
    anyway i’m ruling out no. 1.
    no.2’s image looks more like a christmas tree than christ, so, i’m going with no. 3. even though i really believe it looks more like rock god ted nugent than jesus.
    jacob, if you are out there, no gooogling!

  • Peggy

    Ooh, goody! More Christian bashing! I’m going to need a shot of TurboLax if I read much more of the Irregular Times.

    Like Ramone says, we should all be able to laugh at the Virgin Mary on the iron, the tree stump, or the toast. But as soon as we’re done yukking it up, let’s proceed with the condescension.

    I guess you didn’t learn much about your faith at the church you grew up in (if you did go to church), Ramone, but at least you learned how to hate Catholics. Good job! Your momma would be proud.

    • Bashing? Who did we bash? Who did we slam so that the victim was bruised, bleeding and broken? No one. There’s no bashing here. It’s called critical examination. We question your religion, and I guess you’re not able to answer the questions, Peggy.

  • ramone

    peggy, peggy, peggy. so sorry. not intending to bash, but, are you saying we should truly believe these to be apparitions directly from god, or that you believe it to be and we should not be so condecending? i can try not to be condecending ,but, to believe god tells women to go back to the curch via electric iron stretches the limits of my faith(even though i wasn’t raised catholic, i don’t by any means hate them).
    also, i didn’t know christians had such a low tolerance for humor (bad humor,all be it). one more thing, peggy. can you staighten me out on this thing where some say catholics are not christians? were you serious when you said catholic bashing is good but christian bashing is bad? what about islam bashing? i heard you can get the death sentence for that. hindus and buddists could care less if you bash them. they know the one about sticks and stones. have you heard that one peggy?

  • Kevin

    I bet you could heat up iron number three and then push it onto someone’s back and they would get a tattoo of the christ stain on them…

  • Peggy

    “It’s called critical examination. We question your religion…” F.G. Fitzer

    Fitzer,

    I don’t see where you’ve questioned the doctrinal beliefs of any religion; human foibles are not the same thing as creeds. Christianity doesn’t claim to be free of sinners. A critical thinker would be able to differentiate.

  • Peggy

    “Will I dare to question her faith? When this woman is giving money to a church that spends the money on covering up the abuse of children, and on campaigns to deny people their constitutional rights, you bet I will.” — F. G. Fitzer

    Ahhh, but I bet you bristle when someone badmouths Islam and its myriad suicide bombers. We wouldn’t want to offend them now, would we?

    • Jim

      Again you show that you haven’t been looking hard. When the Danish cartoonists of Mohammed got death threats, we were all over that form of fundamentalism as well.

  • Peggy

    Death threats….believing an image looks like the Blessed Virgin….one of these things is not like the other.

  • ramone

    so is anyone else guessing? peggy? did you think the whole quiz to be condecending and therefore withhold your vote?
    f.t. fitzer, please, the suspense is killing me. no death threat intended. :)

  • Peggy

    The first one is definitely out. The second one looks like an outline of Our Lady of Guadalupe, and the third one resembles the face on the Shroud of Turin.

    Have you gentlemen ever seen or heard of the “smudge” that hangs in the Cathedral in Mexico City? Look into it. It’s not all voodoo, you know.

  • Jacob

    Is this one of those eye tests like Jim has been using latly where you have to star at the screen till you go cross-eyed before the image pops out. I cant even see anything remotly close

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