Catholics all around the world have been claiming that smudges that bear some kind of vague resemblance to either Jesus or the Virgin Mary are proof not only that their god exists, but that Catholicism is the best version of Christianity. They’ve cited a tree stump in Ireland, a dirty wall in Samoa, a foggy window in Pennsylvania, a clothes iron in Massachusetts, and of course, toast.
Why hasn’t everyone in the world accepted this evidence and become Catholic. Well, one reason is that there are other apparitions besides the Christian ones. These apparitions provide evidence for belief in systems other than Christianity.
Inspired by the story of the Virgin Mary tree stump in Ireland, I found two such apparitions today, on a four-minute walk down the street. These apparitions prove, using the standard of evidence employed by Catholics, that The Lord of the Rings was a holy book, and not at all a piece of fiction.
Look at both these photographs in the right way, for long enough, and you’ll see that they look like ents. Ents are spiritual beings from The Lord of the Rings that look like trees, but are able to walk and talk like human beings.
The photograph on the left, if you squint at it, looks like an ent that has been tortured by the wizard Saruman. As anyone who has read The Lord of the Rings knows, the ents fought against Saruman and his orcs. So, this ent apparition is proof not only that ents exists, but that orcs exist too. It’s evidence for the historical Saruman, just as the Shroud of Turin is proof of the historical Jesus. Praise be!
The photograph on the right, on the other hand, clearly shows ent lips. Is it a coincidence that those lips appeared on that tree just as I was passing by? Non-believers might think so, but more spiritually inclined people will see that I was meant to see the lips on that tree, and that I was meant to write this article showing the ent lips to the world.
This is modern-day prophecy, folks, a message from the great big Tolkien in the sky, who wants us all to know that we should be like the environmentalists who say, I don’t just hug trees. I kiss them too!