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Market For Smudgy Religious Icons Dries Up

It’s become an item of accepted wisdom that, if you find an object that appears to have a smudgy image of the Virgin Mary or Jesus on it, you can auction the item on EBay and make a lot of money. I could use some extra money, and so I decided to take a look into the possibilities for myself.

Sadly, what I found is that the market for blurry religious icons seems to have dried up. There’s a glut of little miracle objects on EBay these days, and none of them seems to be selling.

jesus potato chipThis potato chip, in a handsome little black box, is supposed to show the face of Jesus, but I can’t see it. Apparently, no one else can either. The seller is asking $3,000. No one is biting.

With even more chutzpah, another seller is asking $12,000 for a smear on a rock that’s supposed to look like the Virgin Mary. Alas, there are no bids. The image looks more like Queen Victoria to me. Goodness, could the Queen have a blessing for us?

There’s under two hours to go on the bidding for a seashell that’s supposed to look like the Virgin Mary. The starting price is $20.00. So far, the top bid is: Absolutely nothing.

jesus seashellNo one is even willing to put up a bid for this little seashell that’s supposed to have an image of Jesus on it. The suggested bid is only 99 cents, but still no one wants it.

Let’s face it: Holy smudges are passe. If you want to get attention for your found religious icon, you’ve got to kick it up a notch. Let’s get conceptual. An image of Jesus on a piece of toast, holding another image of Jesus on a piece of toast – now that might get a bid.

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