Enter your email address to subscribe to Irregular Times and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 240 other subscribers

Irregular Times Newsletters

Click here to subscribe to any or all of our six topical e-mail newsletters:
  1. Social Movement Actions,
  2. Credulity and Faith,
  3. Election News,
  4. This Week in Congress,
  5. Tech Dispatch and
  6. our latest Political Stickers and Such

Contact Us

We can be contacted via retorts@irregulartimes.com

Father Yahweh Sure Could Use Some Help With His Grammar. Delusion or Prophecy?

God sent me an e-mail this morning. How nice. And it’s a prophecy, too!

My Blessed Child, I am your Father Yaweh, yea Jehovah, Most High God! My Blessed Child, just as surely as the wind blows, and just as surely as the sun rises in the East, My promise is ever so true, that I am coming for My Bride! Many can sense when a time of crisis is at hand; and My ‘True Ones,’ can also sense the time of My Coming!

OK, so Father Yaweh doesn’t display the best grasp of English grammar in His revelation, but it’s important to remember that he could have if He’d wanted to. That’s the mixture of free will and omnipotence for you. Maybe there’s a code in those extra commas.

My Little One, I long to come for My Bride, even as My Bride is longing for Me! And, I warn Mine through dreams and visions, and through the prophetic word, to make themselves right before Me; for the time of my coming is at hand! And, over and over again, during the past few years I have sounded the alarm to My Bride to make herself ready; for My coming is at hand! And, truly I have wanted to come…

A bit graphic, but it’s nice to know that even the ruler of the universe has that kind of trouble every now and then…

My Little One, the sins of Satan, and the sins of his hordes have polluted My people!

Isn’t is just so humble of God that He refers to it as “My Little One?” But enough sex chat with the Deity, we’ve got a prophecy to catch!

Hear Me, oh My People! I am going to marry a Bride, who is holy, whose robe is radiantly clean and sparkling white!

Pull out the bleach.

My warnings to you are becoming evermore final! My directives to you are becoming ever more dire! My pleading is turning into direct and severe chastisements for all of you! Love evil and die in evil! Love the things of the world, and the things of the flesh, and die in the world and in the things of the flesh.

It is extremely important that My Chosen Ones extricate themselves from all worldly things and from all worldly attractions, like television, movies, and most publications of the world! For, therein are spiritual traps, hidden mind control, hidden “trigger” words, images and phrases, which are put there to elicit strong behaviors, which are antichrist!

If Mine will not heed My warning and come away from these traps, they will fall among such traps. Regarding these things, I have repeatedly warned, but somany believe that these warnings do not apply to them! The fact is that too many who consider themselves to be Mine, are addicted to things of the world!

Hear Me in this; for I am going to begin to make the journeys of My Chosen Ones difficult, increasingly difficult until they understand My strictness in these measures.

Have I ever told you that the straight and narrow is synonymous with the ‘broad way’? Have I ever told you that the two ways mix? I have not; but the worldy lying preachers of My word have! They have embedded themselves in the worldly and have lusted after the world and all that is in it! They have polluted my churches! They have polluted My people! They have wreaked havoc in My Congregations; for they have overwhelmingly rejected the straight and narrow! I hate their worldy prayers! I hate their worldy ways and their empty praises! And, I will throw them and their wicked ways out of my face, and violently so!

Get out of my face, false preachers! I’m the Lord! Away with you, your worldy ways and your “trigger” phrases! But Lord, Dear Lord, you’re getting a bit long-winded. Where’s that prophecy you promised?

What is to be gained by making friends with the ungodly? Do you not know that they are your stumbling blocks? They are the foes of the righteous! One rotten apple truly will spoil the whole barrel! Listen to Me! It is far better to be alone, far better indeed, and to be separated out unto Me! For, I am your Sustenance, oh My Holy Bride! I am the pure and holy light, who guides You, your Ever-present Source of truth, peace, and calm. I am your Provider! I am your Protector! I am your All, oh My Holy Bride! Therefore, you must look to Me in all things; for truly I, and I alone, am the Author and Finisher of your faith.

“But, if one chooses to become a “buddy” or personal friend with a rebel, he or she will suffer greatly! For, by deciding to become friends with a rebel, such a one will open up many areas within his or her mind, body, soul, heart and spirit, through which the enemy may attack! And I, on seeing that one of My Chosen Ones has taken a path which is displeasing to Me, will thereby begin to exact a series of punishments on My Faithful servant. These punishments will be, at first, only slight, and may seem to be only coincidence; but if My chosen one does not cease to sit in the congregation of the ungodly, I will cause My hand to come down heavy, increasingly more heavy on this one of Mine! And, even though these judgments begin to escalate, My Chosen One, may not see, even then, that this is My hand of correction.

Your Chosen Ones won’t know? Well, then, that’s a pretty lame judgment, isn’t it? Why not send them a letter and tell them how you feel? You know, something like, “Dear Sam, this is God. I chose you way back, and now you’re hanging out with Leo, and I didn’t choose him, and when you do that it makes me feel jealous.” It’s that kind of open communication of our feelings with one another that really helps bridge the divide and bring us all closer to one another.

Hear Me, oh My people! Come away from your lying, deceitful ways! Stop parading your evils in My face! I am a God of great righteousness and holiness, a God of purity, truth and perfection! Stop parading your evils in My face! I will not endure it, but shall cause My wrath to be poured out upon you! Do you not know that My eyes are upon you and nothing that you do escapes My eyes?

I shall pluck you up and put you into chains and shackles if need be, to save your soul! Do you not know My little flock, that this is a new day, the time of My Kingdom Come and My will be done in the Earth, even as it is in heaven?

Do you actually believe that I will not bring My fire down on you for your evil ways? Am I not the same God who punished My own house when they rebelled against Me in the wilderness? I am among you now, even as I was then; for My Son is in your very midst, The Little Manchild of Revelation Chapter Twelve.

Do not think to get in My face with such evils; for I will cast you out of My face! For, holiness calls out to holiness, righteousness to righteousness, purity to purity, and truth to truth! I will have it no other way! My Bride is holy! The Manifest Sons of God are holy; for I am they and they are I! Will you get in My face with your ungodly ways and think that all is well? All is not well; and I will not have it!

Finally, we’ve got a revelation: the Little Manchild of Revelation Chapter Twelve walks among us right now in our midst. It’s a bit of an odd way for a real Deity to put it, considering that the Bible didn’t originally have chapters; those were added by human hands. But back to the Manchild: what’s he up to?

Plain Talk From Our Saviour: An Extended Delay!

“Come unto Me, My Blessed Child; for you have come seeking, asking that I speak to you in plain talk, in talk which is devoid of mysteries, devoid of visions, dreams, similes, and metaphors. Plain talk, you seek from Me regarding My coming for My Faithful, how it will appear, how it will “look,” how it will manifest. And, I am not offended in this! I am not angry with you for asking this, but what you ask I now give readily.

My answer to you is plain! Soon, very very soon, I will take My Little Son back to My throne! Yes, I have added a short time to your suffering; for you have asked for the salvation of the children of Satan! And, I have placed My Little Son in one, wherein I am training him to set free the children of the hidden goat lineage. Yes, I have added onto your time of suffering some additional amount of time; however, this is not lengthy, but short, as I have told you.”

The nastiness is coming soon for those of the hidden goat lineage who aren’t freed (do you have a hidden goat?). But how soon? God just can’t pin it down on the calendar right now, but it will only be a matter of months at most:

My Little One, I am still looking! I am still weighing! Therefore, I can only be honest with you when I say, a short amount of time. I can expedite this time and compress this work into a very short time of some few days, or a few weeks; or I can extend it by some few months.

And in the meantime, watch out for the satanic kidnappers, the drugs and the mind-control rays:

My Little One, you know the state of this wicked nation of the USA, that it is the harlot of the whole world! It is Sodom revisited. You see and you know the truth of things; for I have put you into the midst of My very fires, the all-consuming fires of My Little Son. You live there, My Little One, and you have lived amidst persecution and torture, which has been so great that anyone, who could really see and understand would shudder! In addition, the enemy has tried every kind of mind control on you, day after day, week after week, month after month; and now year after year. But, through it all, they have failed! However, they have succeeded in driving many away from you. For, they have seen the corruption in their hearts; and due to such corruption, the wicked ones have been able to easily mind control many of them by expanding the wicked thoughts of their hearts, and instilling in them further lies as well!

But, some few they have failed to control, even though the wicked ones have also victimized these and have sought to turn these against you. They have not succeeded because these are humble before Me! They desire righteousness! They truly love Me above all! Their hearts are right and in the right place before Me! Therefore, the repeated attempts of the enemy to turn them against you have failed. But, not so with many others!

My Little One, these wicked children of Satan and his many hordes have gone after many, abducting them from their homes, drugging them and mind controlling them, all without their knowledge or permission!

But don’t worry, the Messiah has been incarnate since June of 2005, and he’s getting ready to reveal himself, as soon as he can find a big enough step-stool:

My Little Manchild, who has lived in you for over forty-two months, must soon be known to the whole world. He must soon take his place in the Sons of God, who are ready for Him. For, some of these are ready! Not all, but some!

Where is all this messianic talk headed? To this destination:

The Only Cure For Morgellons Disease.

My Blessed Child, My Little Son (Manchild) will help many who are sick and dying from all manner of diseases, but he will set free especially many, who have the Morgellons Implant Disease! Yes, it is an implant disease, one in which Satan and his many hordes have viciously implanted the bodies of many with foreign substances, the purpose being to siphon off their light, and to overide their electrical 9neurological) systems until they are either mind controlled slaves, or dead! They really do not care, but delight in all the suffering, which they have inflicted upon these unsuspecting souls!

My Little One, you know the work of My Son, that he is able to clean remove all such implants from the bodies of these Morgellons sufferers. And, I have brought him up amidst the most horrendous of implant technologies! Never has a living soul suffered what you have suffered, not anyone, not another living soul!

The writer of this message is Linda Newkirk, a prophet whose visions currently take up 12 books and include other revelations: that Barack Obama is the AntiChrist (number of letters in his name: 18=6+6+6) and also a member of the Rothschild family. Newkirk suffers from a sad case of delusional parasitosis (apparently since June of 2005) and has attached the symptoms of that delusion to the conventions of a religious text in order to produce a prophecy, writing under the name of God. Those who follow Newkirk take personal suffering and give it social reality by making it real in its consequence: their own behavior on Earth.

It’s happened before, the spawning a major religion despite a droning, repetitive, grammatically-challenged text and prophecies that didn’t come to pass in the allotted time. Will we see it happen again? When it comes to the irrational, anything’s possible.

7 comments to Father Yahweh Sure Could Use Some Help With His Grammar. Delusion or Prophecy?

  • Tom

    Can’t do any worse than the delusion of the stock market or our insolvent banks going on in zombie state every day.

  • Anonymous

    You actually read all that? I think you just lost a good chunk of your life you will never get back.

  • leeda

    every chunk of our life is lost.. and we never get any of them back.. not only will I never retrieve the chunk I spent reading this.. but now I have to worry about Morgellons Disease and the second coming of little dude.

  • leeda

    and.. just so you know at
    God uses bad English to test your heart.. how else would he know if you really loved him or if you were just swayed by His granDIOSE eloquism

  • veganrampage

    Hey Linda,

    What ya got against goats? And Jesus/Yaweh hates you too.

    Signed,
    The One

  • Have you ever heard of the narcissistic crazy false prophet hate cult leader claiming to be a pastor, ordinated in 2001 but it was revoked a few months later? Check out Amightywind.com’s false prophet Elisabeth Sherrie Elijah Nikomia nee Sobcjak. She is very long winded in her false prophecies. Especially check out prophecies 21 (Rev. 9 describes exactly what will come out of the bottomless pit.), 75 (especially the part about Ellen Degeneres), 89, & 90 (which she changed). She is wanted in the U.S. for several crimes mostly tax evasion, fraud, kidnapping her own son after she lost custody, etc. Check out the website above and also http://blip.tv/amightywindexposed. Elisabeth who has many aliases and claims to live in New Zealand but isn’t has a YT channel with the user name yahsladynred. Her hate cult calls her Momma Rm (she says she is God’s ringmaiden and Elijah of New). In the beginning of 2011, she got a lawyer in VA to send subpoenas to Google for personal info on her enemies (anyone who has called them a cult or critiqed their beliefs/prophecies). Google refused to give them our personal info (160 of us) with a court order which she failed to obtain twice. They keep an enemies list. Right now there is about 850 YouTube usernames. http://blip.tv/amightywindexposed/amightywind-s-enemies-5884361 Elisabeth is known to tell married couples not in her cult to divorce and hand over 401k’s, savings, etc baed on her prophecy 111. She has ruined many marriages. She stayed married to a satanist for 30 yrs. yet claimed she was physically and emotionally abused and for 12 years, she was looking for another man on her website while she went around the world preaching the “gospel” (her gospel which are her false prophecies). If you are against AMW, you are a satanist, reprobate, and you’ve blasphemed God and the Holy Spirit. We are looking for any info where may be living. Actually Linda helped Elisabeth as a favor to an acquaintance when she moved to AR. AMW has a whole page of exposing wolves in sheeps clothing and Linda is named. Elisabeth practices kabbalah, witchcraft, and satanism. In several of her prophecies starting with #1, she claims God gives the message to support her. Check it out. It would make a good post.

  • Mike Templewind

    Greetings: I have taken some time to pray about, and read the writings of Linda Newkirk. I also read the communication between she and the women, supposedly from Africa. And though not a psychiatrist, I would have to disagree with Jim’s diagnosis, based on personal experiences with those who are victims of satanic ritual abuse. My guess is she has undergone great sexual and physical torture for years, starting from a very early age. I would also suspect that her biological family was her original abusers; perhaps even several generations to manifest this scope of delusion. Be that as it may, she is in definite need of prayer and sympathy from a body of believers. Just my two cents….

Leave a Reply

  

  

  

You can use these HTML tags

<a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>