Just for kicks, here are my five political predictions for Congress in 2010:
1. The Defense of Marriage Act will not be repealed. After telling gay and lesbian Americans to wait for the passage of health care reform for the length of 2009, 2010 arrives as an election year. So “wait ’till next year” will trip off the tongues of “pragmatic” Democratic leaders again.
2. Legislation to create equity in sentencing for powder and crack cocaine will pass. The issue has been around long enough to lose its edge, and no powerful moneyed constitutency loses in its passage. Even the glitterati coke fiends of Hollywood are behind its passage, feeling guilty as they do about their powdered noses in cushy lofts. The Democrats will pass the bill to demonstrate that they care, with a significant minority of Republican senators and representatives joining in the vote to demonstrate to their moderate districts that they’re not Trent Franks Republicans.
3. After a temporary extension, expiring Patriot Act provisions will be approved in the late spring with no major reforms. The guy from Nigeria who lit himself on fire could have been an employee of Homeland Security, he’ll be such an effective stiffener of resolve against efforts to reinforce civil liberties.
4. The Guantanamo Bay detention facility will be closed with a solemn ceremony featuring solemn-looking politicians competing to put their eyebrows in the biggest creases. But none of the congressional leaders at those ceremonies will hold hearings that shed light on the other indefinite detention facilities the United States government operates.
5. As the year wanes, some jackass whose church holds a “Harvest Festival” in protest of Halloween will introduce a bill asking Americans everywhere to celebrate Christmas and recognize the God-given sanctity of national Baby Jesus Day.
Okay, that last one was too easy. But come December 31 2010, we’ll see whether those predictions have come to fruition.
Do you have five predictions you’re willing to offer about political shenanigans in the next year? Share ’em in the comments section, and we’ll all hold each other to account after a spin ’round the sun.