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God Hits DC Gays With 62 Degrees and Sunny Skies

As the first same-sex marriages in Washington, DC are performed today, God unleashes His Mighty Judgment. At least that’s what multiple fundamentalist Christian preachers have told us should happen. But His Judgment seems awfully mild for March: 62 degrees and sunshine.

Well, you go, YHWH! Your Divine Plan must make sense, because you are, after all, the Guy. So hit ‘em with the Righteous Rays of your Heavenly Warm Homophobia! Draw them out into the great outdoors with thine Punishing Temptation to Not Wear an Overcoat! Cure their Sinful Seasonal Affective Disorder! Bring out the Frisbees of Damnation to afflict the fingers of the Sodomites! That’ll show ‘em who’s Boss!

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