Levinite Seismic Analysis Reveals: Offshore Alaska is Major Gay Hub
According to the Orthodox Rabbi Yehuda Levin, earthquakes happen as God’s warning in places where “the sin of homosexuality and the, er, um, uh, organized homosexuality, societal homosexuality” is especially prevalent.
Is this true? Well then, check out this hub of gay activity in America, based on seismic data from the U.S. Geological Survey for the last week. Apparently the Aleutian Islands are the major center of homosexual liaisons in the region, oddly skirting the only major human settlement of Unalaska.
I suspect that God is warning the offshore population of king crabs regarding its pursuit of organized homosexuality. Oh, there will be Hell to pay!